Boy Scout Services for Sale

Upon consuming half a box of girl scout cookies in less than a day I've decided that boy scouts should offer something to the vast population of the United States. They could go door to door with premaid checklists of activities for the same price as a box of girl scout cookies. So America ( minus boy perverts) we have a young lad ready to do some chores. Here's a list, feel free to add on.

1. Taking out the garbage, sanatizing the cans with scent of choice (boys will be equipped)
2. Cleaning the garage, waxing the car, changing your car's oil
3. Washing the windows, there should be birds trying to fly in soon after (boys will be able to care for bird after contact)
4. Scrubbing the floor, wood floors should smell like the redwood forest, ceramic should be spotless without the elderly falling
5. Organize your dvd, cd, vhs collection. Please remove your porn before scout comes
6. Full clean out of the fridge, do the grocery shopping and make a nice dinner
7. Feeding of your dog Toto, take it for a walk, wash and dry
8. Teaching you how to work all the appliances you don't know how to use, like the cappacino machine that is sitting in a cabinent.
9. Shinning all your shoes and optimizing them for most comfort
10. Doing of taxes with the most refund back

Day Four: No Money or ID

I was going to call this Day Four: Marriage proposal but the no money and no id kinda takes the cake. So come time to leave the bar (after taking shots of dirty girl scouts) I saw goodbye to my new friends and stumble into a cab. Next thing I know it's 8am and I haven't changed clothes. So I do my usual check of things. Laptop check, room key check, purse - hmmmmm...Where is my purse?

How does this work? I have no cash besides the $9 I found in my back pocket, no standard ID and no cellphone. Did I drop it, Did I leave it in the cab, Did someone steal it? Ugh - so many questions. I'm very good about not freaking out so I didn't - It's just things and I guess if worse comes to worse I could get some Mircrosoft guy to marry me and give me an allowance every week.

So I spent the day at the conference - which this day was quiet excellent in terms of speakers. The flash film festival took place at night and was an enjoyment. In the meantime I spent too much time getting faxed copies of my ID and collecting cash from Western Union. It was on my way to Western Union that I got the line "Hey gorgeous will you marry me?"
The sun was setting, it was romantic except that I've never met the guy and he had a voice box from smoking to much. My first marriage proposal I had to turn down. I hope it doesn't bring bad karma.

Yes so after chatting to Lynda of Lynda.com I headed back to the hostel to grab my suitcase and take a stab at getting through airport security. As soon as I walk in the people behind the desk look like they have seen a ghost. Guess what they have. Yes my purse. Second floor women's bathroom had my purse. At least I was a semi-smart drinker and didn't leave it in the cab. Me and my purse frolliced to the airport.

Day Three: Dirty Dirty Girl Scouts

I did spend most of the day hiding from creepy guy #1. On my schedule shopping was in session for the afternoon workshops. I took my new fun friend from Berkely over to Anthropologie. She had never been! I don't know what was more exciting for her, the store or the conference. The rest of the day was workshops, workshops and more workshops. I don't know if the evening was the upswing or downswing. Free booze + Gina hasn't had a drink in awhile = danger. The creepy guy ended up finding me and I just had to shake him off. So me and a couple other locals dragged our bags to Capital Hill. I'd say I was quiet impressive with my beer drinking skills. Then we made our way up street to a place called the garage to play some shuffle board. They have a nasty drink called the greyhound - organce juice and gin. Nasty very nasty. So I thought I was classy with my vodka drinks until I decided shots would be good. More to come......

Day Two: It Rains A LOT!

Day Two: Monday - the first Day of the Conference

I woke up extremely early, 5:30 am (7:30 Midwest time) and checked in over 600 people. checked out a handful.... After my shift I decided that I was too worked up being in the building so I ventured outside. I found my way to the space needle by looking up at the sky and walking toward the large object. It was everything I expected to be and nothing more. Then I decided to go shopping. They have a giant market with lots of little shops and big fish. Instead of buying clothes I found some Moroccan bowls. Not sure yet on how they will get home. Then I decided I should go back to the conference and learn something. Not only did I learn but I was inspired. A nice fellow chatted me up and we planned dinner and drinks. It was good till the end. I had to shove him in a cab right before he tried getting a bit of lip action, literally.

Day One

So Day One started with driving home from Appleton then hopping on a plane to Seattle:
Things Learned

1. Sugar free candy is bad for you. Just ask Katie and the toliet.
2. It's ok not to bring the high heels
3. I learned where Detroit is
4. Guys with children sitting across the aisle aren't always married. He will give away his daugther snow white card with digits on hoping i'll call.
5. the 5 year old daugther is smart. when her dad got up and was out of earshot she turns to me and says "Daddy likes to stink up the bathroom"
6. I'm african american lesbian likable in not the way I want to be liked.
7. Being a geek will bring you closer to people like lydia of lydia.com
8. Australians are just as nice in America. And I asked the aussie what the most interesting part of north america was. It's a tie between trailer parks and dollar bills.
9. I'm tired after getting two hours of sleep but was still able to get my work-out in. Surprisingly the West Bend YMCA is 12 times better.
10. Computer guys are damn attractive and well paid.

Cutting loose

Ah Wednesday is always an interesting time especially if you venture around North Ave. Jeff and I are very good at this. Upon entering the BBC I find one of my many wannabe boyfriends. They wannabe be my boyfriend but I don't want them to be. So I enter with my friend Jon and of course this person is going to think that me and Jon are dating so now I actually have to go over there and make my peace. Then I find out that one of his friends knows my sister and that's all I'm going to say about that.

My friends were in prime form. When some fools announces over the loudspeaker that they are the best foosball players, there is immediate running to the foostable for a competition. My friend's reined supreme.

I met a new friend. The crazy guy that lives on the upstairs on the BBC. Words cannot explain what I saw. This man's living space is the most packed antique shop one has ever seen. Bells and plants are friends. Coats hanging from the ceiling like a dry cleaner shop. He has a magical way of talking. We would be finding out about his mink coat and then we were talking about two Chinese girls spinning. Just out of this world.

I also just love catching up with friends I haven't seen in ages. Upon entering Live I ran into a guy I haven't seen in two years and he was at his going away party. I also now have a temporary plan with an old college friend to buy land in Colorado. He's going to attach a horse stable for me on his airplane hanger (which he is going to build). I thought that was rather nice but then I though the glass of beer was nice as well. Ah it was a classic night.

Jeff, I hear you are a good dancer.

Fun photos!

Here was one of the birthdays - guess I had more fun than I thought

The Weekend Update: It's freezing!

So it was in the negative digits but we still went out (with warmer coats) Here is what I learned.

1. Come to the Cheesecake factory a solid hour before you want to eat.
2. It's ok to order a cheesecake for dinner
3. Eric Bana is a HOT AUSSIE! and the movie Munich was good as well.
4. There is always the windows to crawl out of when the doors to your mini lock you in.
5. I like furniture upholstery
6. Synchronized sit ups are in
7. My friends are morons for tailgating at -11 degrees for a basketball game
8. I can still look good without wearing open toed shoes
9. My St. Louis friend never ceases to amaze me.
10. It is unethical to watch John Corbett a block away from my apartment because it's country and even though he is a hot hot hot actor that doesn't mean he is my springsteen!

Spam Carving Contest

My grandma will love this

While researching Seattle and deciding how to fill my time I came across a calendar of events. Seems that the Tuesday before Lent (Fat Tuesday) Seattle has a spam carving contest. I'm sorry to let my family of spam eatters down but I will not be attending. I think the smell of it will collaspe my 3-months of being a vegetarian.

I haven't heard that one before

short bald guy in late 20's: "Is that a burrito or your purse?"

me: (eye roll to sara thinking this guy is pathetic)

short bald guy getting annoying: " So are you two friends?"

sara: "No we hate each other"

surprised bald guy: (coy) " You date each other? Wow"
- - - - - -- - - - - - - - - -- - -

Not to worry Tony, your pick up line still isn't beaten. " You're pretty and I'm drunk, take me home"

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY EVERYONE

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

The Weekend Update: Birthdays Birthdays Birthdays!

After a weekend of birthday of course there is going to be a list!




1. Got lost in the gettho, kenosha county and the seventies trying to find a house in Racine.
2. Surprised my friend for her 30th birthday!
3. Was a standout student in my saturday upholstery class.
4. Celebrated my friend's 27th birthday on Brady Street.
5. Found out the more alcohol a person drinks ( I won't name any names but if Becca slips out it's not my fault) the more one professes her love, gives hugs and professes her love.
6. Became smart and didn't drown myself in gin, this helped in turning down stupid guys.


7. Had a blast with a new friend. He did everything a boyfriend would do - keep guys away, dance well and present me cheetos after the bar. Too bad he has a girlfriend. >>me on the far left, boy, and sarah doing her thing.
8. Had "dinner" at noon with my grandma and her special friend for her 80th birthday.
9. Decided that the best way to meet a guy is to become a priest, imagine I have the whole congregation to preach to my hopes wishes for their single-well to do-groomed sons, brothers, fathers....
10. If you recognize someone and can't seem to remember how you know the person, always reference Fitzgibbions.

Landhopper

Since I was feeling better I decided to book myself a ticket to Seattle. It was exactly one year ago that I hopped on a plane to Australia without any idea what I was doing. Still now, I don't know anyone and have no itinerary (as of yet). I'll be volunteering at a geek conference where there are about 80% males in attendance. I think I will have a lot of fun and meet some cool designers and programmers. Plus it's Seattle so maybe there is a single guy (with a dog) with enough money to buy my a cabin in the mountains, oh yeah we'd fall in love first. So...if anyone has any pointers or know of any destinations that I must go to, please let me know. You have 2 weeks!

bulimic junkie

I've been trying to give up suguar, especially sugar in my coffee. So for two days I went without sugar. I felt like a junkie coming down. To top it off my stomach decided to hate me and turned bullimic. i guess I will have to forgoe the chocolate cake for breakfast and munch on some ice cubes.

Dirty Photos - Dare to look!

I bought myself a digital camera on ebay this weekend and the very attractive seller dropped it off at my office this morning. I think I might have to buy some new dishes as I'm afraid what lifeforms have invaded these. Isn't this disgusting! Help!

13 hours and high on spray mount

I will be in recovery for my 13 hour day at work. You can either find me at Mo's, in my bed, or the police office for punching a person that should have stayed and helped. I haven't checked the kitchen sink to see if the dishes are done. I don't have enough energy to throw them out the window but that might be a nice activity after tommorrow's beer.

The Weekend Update: Live after Florida

I headed to Florida and as always going with the family is always an adventure.

1. Seeing Dad's exgirlfriend at the airport caused a stir not only for his finace but the ex as well
2. Danielle didn't puke on the plane!!!!
3. Rode in style, as in the OJ get away van
4. Got asked to dance via piece of paper, would you like to dance check yes or no. and that was the only guy my age I met
5. Signed Dad up for Karoke without telling him
6. The bar made me sign up, as pentance for #5, I picked a song I think I could sign but realized I just like to dance to it late at night. So Terry sang I danced and sometimes sang the chorus.
7. Listen to a my family trying to sing all the way home a song they didn't know.
8. Formed a small cult Saturday morning, the 13 bright yellow school bus shirt kind
9. For the first time ever, Grandma asked Grandpa if he was ready to go home!
10. 8 kids and 2 granddaughters drank and listened to Grandpa tell wild stories with the occasional chimming in of Grandm
11. I proved best at cards and took everyone's money
12. Danielle was able to get into a bar and drink and I couldn't ! forgot my id in my shorts
13. Broke down and ate fish, in the wisdom of homer: Grouper sandwich, ooooooo!
14. Today is my last birthday celebration: the chinese new year - year of the dog. I did my cleaning yesterday and after filling barrels with leaves I told grandma, "I filled three" which she interpretted for "I feel free" I suppose either is right
15. Came back to Milwaukee and not surprised found the dishes exactly the same place as they were Friday morning.

Pointers from the week and weekend

How to get a free drink
1. Sit close the the bar
2. Not pay attention to the bartenders playing throw the alchohol
3. Wait till they get crazy and move off court
4. Watch the half drinking beer can spill on your leg
5. Cute bartender apologizes profusely
6. Bartender offers drink(s) or shots in my case

For men to have a one night stand ( Saturday night a guy approached me and went from step 1 to just straight out asking so I gave him some advice)
1. Tell a girl she is attractive
2. Tell her you want to hang out with her in the upcoming week
3. Ask her to dance (if you're at Jo Cats)
4. Tell her how gorgeous she is
5. Ask her for her phone number
6. Tell her you can't believe she doesn't have a boyfriend
7. Convince her that you need in at her place pronto because you can't wait for the week.

How to order a Jimmy Johns Sub (This could backfire if you want mayo or a neighbor comes over and eats the sub)
1. Call Tony and ask him for the Jimmy John's number
or
2. Walk to Jimmy Johns
3. Find a guy who looks like bruce springsteen and happens to be vegetarian
4. Ask him what he ordered
5. Ask him to order for you

Affair with the Monitor

How is it that I can have great relationships over email verses face to face? This has happened with several people (guys more or less) and we have a witty repartee, fun conversations and great shares. When we get face to face I just want to drink myself drunk so I don't have to deal with the person. I would rather continue these relationships behind a computer rather than have any physical presence. Is that wrong?

the Weekend Update

losing my voice can make for an interesting weekend


1. I should have worn a name tag that said, "Hi my name is gina, I lost my voice, I'll have a vodka cranberry please." because I got straight cranberry flavor vodka or voda and coke.
2. People thought I was rude for not making coversation with them
3. Had to have Jeff order my drinks for me
4. Trying to cover my ass running into several guys in the same place can be trickey without a voice
5. The bucks lost because I couldn't scream orders at them
6. Drinking too much to soothe a throat causes mixed signals
7. I can befriend a gay man without my charimsa but by my cute clutch purse and fancy scarf
8. Unable to order a sub at Jimmy Johns because they wouldn't be able to see my hand gestures over the phone
9. Not being able to breathe makes picking up a smoke very hard, which is a good thing
10. Having breakfast with the girls makes the weekend much more peaceful

scrubbing mold

yay! my roomies have scrubbed the mold off their dishes, hurrah - pop the bubbly!
now, about that garbage sitting next to the door........