The Wedding Industry - Part 1

Since my teens, I knew I wasn't the normal girly-girl. I wore jeans a size too big, loved football, wouldn't let anyone talk to me during a Brewer game unless it was about baseball and I didn't know your belt should match your shoes until my sophomore year of college. So when it came time to plan my wedding it's no surprise I held back.

At no disrespect to my friends I didn't want to go through the details they went through. And after a couple bridal showers I began to feel a little guilty that I wasn't as excited as perhaps I should be. So I started researching because my emotions for the pre-wedding activities didn't reach my happiness for the couple as when they committed to each other. And then I came across this article written by Jessica Murphy from Seattle:

Below are segments from her article,
You Know You're an Anti-Bride If …
- - -
"You need to be convinced to have a wedding. Eloping doesn't seem like a bad option. The idea that all of the work involved in planning the event can disappear with one short trip to Vegas is tantalizing—right up until the moment you walk down the aisle."

So true and exactly why we opted for a destination
 

Bridal boutiques give you the creeps. You're not enamored with the whole process of finding a wedding dress, and Vera Wang price tags seem downright absurd. ..You opt for buying something off the rack, online shopping, eBay, or one of the more reasonably priced chains.

I have to admit I had a blast trying on a million dresses. But I also have a bit of an obsession with dresses. I did buy a dress for under $200 and now have a bought a vintage dress online for under $150.

You don't believe that the wedding is "all about the bride." It's amazing how often a bride-to-be will hear this phrase. However, the anti-bride is typically uncomfortable with this notion because to you it's all about the groom—and the vows the two of you will make.


Couldn't agree more! It's about two people making a life-long commitment.

You let your bridal party decide what to wear. ...You'd rather have your friends wear a dress that they like and that they feel beautiful in.... You may not even have a bridal party at all. You may simply have your sister stand by your side.


Done and done - told my sister to pick out whatever dress she wants, just as long as it's not white. Mike's best man is wearing whatever outfit he wants. 

to be continued...

A week of pain brings out my inner 23 yr old.

Feeling helpless as been the emotion of the week. With the basement flooding twice and my workspace is no longer functional, how could the weekend get any worse. Ah yeah that sneaky fire hydrant that I happen to back into on a way to a bachelorette party. I couldn’t suck up $9 to pay to park since it should go to repairing the basement. Lesson Learned: fork over the cash and save on repairs and tears.

Didn’t make it to the first part of the party since I went home and cried. After my eyes stopped hurting and my taste for a cocktail grew high, I put on a sassy green dress and strutted into Whisky Bar for the night portion of the party. Recovery was easy after that first sip and a table full of girlfriends.

Throughout the night we encountered Northwestern Mutal’s many employees in Milwaukee for their annual conference, other bachelor parties and the regular Water Streeters out for a good time.

My engagement ring must have been uber shiny as guys took my left hand to confirm my ring finger bling and shot me those puppy dog eyes. However it didn’t stop some from throwing drinks my way, spinning me on the dance floor or stopping me in the street. New this year was the petting of the hair. I don't understand it but I could feel multiple people petting my locks. I don’t think I had that much attention in one night when I was 23, but it’s nice to know that I still got it – even at age 28.

Sunday kicked me back into reality with little sleep and a two-hour church service (which I haven’t attended a regular mass in 9 years) and Mike’s niece asking me when a baby is going to come out of my tummy. 

Celebration and chaos

It’s been a whirlwind of a week and there’s not enough coffee that can keep me awake at the moment.

Many celebrations and chaos have taken place within the past ten 10 days, these are the highlights:

1. Celebrated Mike turning one year older, although he very much doesn’t look it.
2. Bachelorette party on a catamaran in Lake Michigan followed by a birthday party, followed by returning back to the bachelorette party, followed by crashing early in my own bed.
3. Mike and I shared a nice dinner for our three-year anniversary. Less than 100 more days and I’ll be a Mrs.
4. While feeding the fish, our biggest one dolphined out of the fish tank, I screamed. Mike came running down thinking I fell down the stairs or the basement flooded.
5. Go downstairs to find the basement did flood.
6. Spent the entire day moving my workspace, throwing away fabric, ripping up the carpet and sanitizing.
7. Rocked my $30 vintage dress at my friend’s wonderful Friday wedding.
8. Spent Saturday constructing a makeshift workspace so that I can sew like made to get ready for a sale.
9. While babysitting for Mike’s brother’s kids, learned that the 5 year old has a crush on a 12 yr old and can’t sleep at night because he likes her old sister. Proved Mike wrong. He said the 7 week-old baby cries because he knows I’m white.
10. And last, my Grandpa came home from the hospital, no more threats of breaking out!

July 4th Weekend

The holiday continues as as I'm writing - cars have taken over our neighborhood to watch the parade, lexie (the dog) is watching people push strollers and I'm avoiding the heat inside. What happened this weekend?

Friday: The July 4th weekend not only celebrates our Independence but the birthday of two lovely ladies each blessed with the name Sara/h. A rendezvous at Leff's Luckytown brought together our group of friends with much less shots as last year.

Saturday: I dragged Mike to a new Milwaukee festival, Tour de Fat. A touring circus-like event hosted by Colorado microbrew, New Belgium. It was not so much as seeing how cool your bike is but how crazy you're dressed while wearing your bike. Entertainment was at a maximum. The bicycle teacup was just one of the contorted bicycles fest goers could try to master. For those in other parts of the nation be sure to check this event out. Newbelgium.com/tour-de-fat-2010-schedule.

Since we were in Bayview, we were dying to check out HoneyPie cafe. Using local produce and meats this delicious new diner brought a whole new meaning to comfort food. Mmming at ever bite in my mac and cheese and Mike's gravy saturated turkey you weren't sure whether to vacuum it in or save it for leftovers.

Gone for a couple hours we came home to this. The city started removing a tree on our front yard. Pretty messy but the guys cleaned it all up. Napping was out of the question do the men outside and the man inside sawing logs.

It's not over yet: Summerfest

I don't like big crowds, the Counting Crows or big crowds but here we were at Summerfest for the biggest night of the 10 day music fest, at a stage with the Counting Crows. Nonetheless meeting up with our various groups of friends, wearing my princess unicorn shirt and feather earrings we all had a blast.

Sunday: A relaxing lazy day spent window shopping, air conditioned movie theater playing Knight and Day, and a little bit to eat at Mike's favorite: Kopps.

My Lettter to Delta

Delta Delta,

I'm concerned about two things, my miles and your marketing budget.

First your marketing budget. Today I received a beautifully expensive direct mail piece. I know it's expensive because I work in marketing. It offered me a $100 flight certificate if I entered in the RSVP code. So I did. And wouldn't you know the website says I already enrolled. So my question is why did your marketing team waste time, paper, production, energy, mail cost, etc to send me something I've already taken action on? Not very efficient on your end.

Second is my pity sum of miles. It seems that two years ago my fiancé were able to book our flights with half as many miles. Since 2010 it now costs double the miles. Two years ago he was able to book both of our plane tickets on his miles alone. According to your reward travel website we can only book one seat and I might be lucky to get a one way to Detroit. I applied for the Amex card for the sole purpose of using miles for our honeymoon. Oh and there was a guarantee of “40K bonus” miles which I don’t think I ever got and now wouldn’t help anyways.

So with your big marketing budgets and increase in miles I think I’ll go back to my M&I card. You see the rewards don’t change and they don’t send me as much mail, something as a customer I appreciate.

Dinner #2 Stuffed Chicken

Thanks to a class at the Milwaukee Public Market I was able to Mike a hearty dinner.

This is stuffed chicken with a blue cheese/artichoke filling.

A tip to make the chicken flat is to beat it with a soup pan.

A San Francisco Treat

Mike and I recently returned home from a wonderful trip in San Francisco. Below are a few highlights from our adventure.

Day 1: Arrival

• Made it safely to our hotel via the Bart subway and a two block walk.

• Sought out ZARA, a clothing store, which I was in one year ago in Manila.

• Walked around the Financial District, high-end window-shopped.

• Dined at the Stinking Rose, our favorite restaurant of the whole trip.

• Browsed through books at a historical bookstore in North Beach – City Lights.

• Night capped it at Café Vessuvio, a famous Beat Generation hangout.

Day 2: Exploration

• Took our first of many walks through Chinatown.

• Watched the seals on Pier 39.

• Strolled through Fisherman’s Wharf up to Ghirardelli Square.

• Broke a sweat climbing one of the steepest hills to get up to Lombard.

• Laughed when a homeless person spooked Mike.

• Feel asleep under the sun in Washington Park. Woke up to more people sleeping beside us. They smelled fine.

• Got tortured by a Chinese person. Never get a massage in Chinatown.

• Ended the night at Fog City Diner.

Day 3: Day Trip

• Took the Ferry over to Sausalito. It was just as I had remembered it when I was younger.

• Spent the day, shopping, eating, sitting along the harbor and getting a little burned.

• Snacked in Chinatown where I was the only white person in a packed diner.

• Ate at one the best Pizza places ever. Tony’s in North Beach is a must.

Day 4: Hippie Luxury

• Brunched at the Sheraton, perhaps one of the most beautiful and sturdiest hotels.

• Jumped on a bus to Haight Asbury and was welcomed to many of crazies.

• Took the longest most Asian speaking cab ride back.

• Stumbled upon a sister resturant to the Stinking Rose where after every bite, Mike closed his eye and “mmmm-ed”.

Day 5: In Flight

• Specifically timed our getway only to find out the plane was delayed and hour and a half. This was your third strike AirTran!

I’m not Irish

I’m not Irish but I’ve had some pretty good memories on this day

1 year ago: Since it was SO nice outside, Mike and I sat out at

Fiesta Garibaldi after work. We enjoyed the patio, ate wonderful Mexican and drank one really strong Margarita. Mike drove home and I feel asleep on the way. It was only 7pm and a 10 min car ride.

4 years ago: Carrie and I had spent most of our time in the Milwaukee airport trying to alleviate our headaches, piecing together the previous night and investigating our phone history to see who we didn’t manage to drunk dial. We made it on to our plane to Charlotte, North Carolina. The warm weather, dogwoods and an itinerary of wine tasting lifted any pain we had been feeling. Best wine ever: Yadkin Gold from RayLen

5 years ago: I celebrated St. Patrick’s day twice in two different cities in two different weekends. The first celebration was in Brisbane, Australia. An intern from Cali and I walked the city, stumbled into street festivals, toured their campus and ran into a St. Patrick’s day parade. When the night entered, we dazzled Australian lads, I left that weekend in a taxi cab while one handsome guy with puppy dog eyes scratched his phone number and smiley face onto a paper and watched me go.

Round two was in Sydney, Australia. I had rented a car so that I could drive six hours to a design conference in Sydney. It just so happened that my friend, Nic was headed that direction too. Nic really taught me how to enjoy the world and the people in it. He read from Jane Eyre while I tried to stay on the Australian side of the road. Once we made it to Sydney we decided it best to part ways. The next morning I walked from King Corners down to the harbor for the conference. I remember pausing, writing in my journal and that I was late. By the door, there was Nic, waiting. I don’t quite remember the words he said but it was beautiful and it was the nicest thing any man had said to me. (Well until I met Mike.) That night we walked all around Sydney, seeing the Opera House, parks with possums, cool statues, we probably ended at an Irish bar. But if it weren’t for him waiting there I would have never seen Sydney in the same light.

Eight years ago: I had woken up on a Sunday early in the morning. It obviously wasn’t early enough because my roommates had already gone to the bars, ate breakfast, drank and left the kitchen table covered with lucky charms, green beads, t-shirts, plastic cups, green hats, etc. No part of that table was visible.

Eight years ago night: Danielle asked my mom, “You like this song (Spirit in the Sky)?” Mom said yes.

Meal #1: French Onion Soup with Salad

I don't like onions but I love a good French Onion Soup. What other soup can you get top with French bread and a handful of cheese? By the time the spoon dips into the brothy wonderfulness, the onions are merely an afterthought.


For such a simple soup the French sure do top it off with a fine cheese that is both pricey and hard to find in the grocery store.

So I chopped, grated, caramelized, stirred, boiled and broiled and one and a half hour later I had soup and a man home from work. Mike sat down to a serving of soup and a heaping plate of salad and said, “So what’s for dinner after these appetizers?”

Two things I would change:
1. Order a pizza for Mike
2. Buy single serving oven safe bowls in order to broil the cheese and bread.

For a first try at French Onion soup I’d give myself a B-.
And an A+ for not setting the house ablaze.

Getting sent home from the airport

On Sunday I was sent home from the airport. I don't believe I've ever been sent "home" due to a delayed flight. This delayed flight would cause a lengthy sleepover in Atlanta so the friendly AirTran representative put me on the next flight to Milwaukee, which wasn't going to leave for another 24 hours. Another day at the beach - what a bummer! Here are some highlights from my time in Florida.

1. Nothing beats a falling asleep to a good book in the sun on the deck.
2. The surf and turf dinner followed by key lime pie at the beach house so yummy.
3. Hour-long storytelling from Grandpa.
4. Trying to make my straight leg touch my nose, just like the 77 year-old instructor during beach yoga at 7am.
5. Christmas Tree Bob extended the yard to include a sand pit for bean bag games. Bags tournament rained out - giving me one more year of practice.
6. Can-Can Dancing with Danielle while the Frank Sinatra impersonator sings New York, New York.
7. Finding out Grandma's ONE shared New Year’s resolution is: Try not to get pregnant.
8. Drowning my sorrows in Malibu pineapples at the Holiday Inn happy hour after being sent home from the airport.
9. Debating to get a credit from AirTran and book a Midwest flight while receiving peer pressure from family & grandma's exclaiming, "I'm going to be very mad at you if you don't push purchase NOW!" I say, "Grandma, I haven't even reached that point - we're on dial-up!"
10. During round two to airport step-mom can't find her id and national security is called.

Grandma's big trip to the city

As it turns out, every year our family vacation to Florida lands on the same day of Oconomowoc- Grandma's birthday. For as long as I can remember she has always put one Milwaukee restaurant on a pedestal, Red Lobster. However, since she doesn't trust her driving or her 89 year old boyfriend's driving to Milwaukee, we arranged pick up and drop off. Below are some highlights of the adventure.

1. Upon all sitting down at the table, I ask Grandma, "So when's the last time you ate at a Red Lobster."
   Grandma: "Oh, many years ago."
   Me: "Like 10 years?"
   Grandma: "Well your mom was 8 when we last came here."
   Me: "That was 40 years ago!"
2. Instead of ordering lobster, she orders a lobster pizza. (Gross).
   
3. Our wonderful waiter, Jermaine, asks Grandma, whose opening her birthday cards, if it's her birthday. She throws her hands up and shouts, "NO!"
4. Jermaine brings her out a cheesecake, she eats two bites and puts the rest in her to go box, along with uneaten biscuits. Total to-go boxes for Grandma and John = 3.
   
5. Upon leaving, this could possibly be the first time Grandma was the minority in the room. I'm sure I'll get a letter in the mail concerned for my safety. 
6. When getting settled in Mike's car, John asks "Boy did you get this (car) in the Philippines?"
   
7. Finally getting to show Grandma that I live in a good neighborhood and a nice house hopefully will bring relief when she watches the news. North Ave + gun shots/robbery will keep my phone ringing and letters coming in the mail...concerned for my safety.
   
8. John knew exactly when specific highways, gas stations and business were coming up when driving on capital. Very sharp for 89 years old. (minus the car comment)
   
9. John running back to the car claiming, "I think I left my rubbers in there." 
10. Making my grandma happy for a couple hours makes me happy.  

Resolutions

Made some resolutions for the new year in which I probably will not be following by next December, but we will see.
1. Floss
2. Learn to cook 12 new meals
3. Reduce questioning Mike
4. Learn to speak better Spanish by October
5. Get rock hard abs by October
6. Try not to get pregnant
7. Put 500 miles on the road bike
8. Plant thriving herbs
9. Sew more bags than last year
10. Find my life calling

Life changing moments of the decade

2000: 18 years old
Am working at the West Bend Sunday Post learning everything about putting a newspaper together, except (ironically) graphic design.

Accepted to UW-Milwaukee

Move to Milwaukee, find a roommate who happens to be the son of one of my coworkers at the newspaper. Learn how to live on my own: cook, clean and make friends who can purchase beer.

Meet my first friend, Aaron. Who plays a pivotal role in 2007.

Meet more friends whom are still my good friends today.


2001: 19 years old
Required to take an English class. Enroll in Creative Writing.

Surprise myself by being able to write poetry.

Grandpa Farold Heine dies a few days after I visit him. It’s the first time in my adult life having to cope with death. Find hidden treasures in their basement, stamp collections, handmade rifles, old pipes and jars of homemade honey.

Am pushed by Katie to get a job to curb partying, drinking and watching bad tv. I get two jobs: an office assistant at the Milwaukee Idea office and sales person at Restoration Hardware. Make many connections at Idea office some remain my freelance clients to date.

Travel with mom to California to look at Colleges to attend. Eat sushi everyday of trip, get lost in Beverly Hills.

Declare major with emphasis in Graphic Design,

2002: 20 years old
Spend a week in Fort Myers Beach with my closest friends, Sara, Katie, Molly, Brooke, Tony & Aaron. Each end up loving my Grandma and still talk about her drinking and driving lecture and gin martinis.

On the first day of Spring Break, Mom dies unexpectedly. Confused. Lost. Hurt. Angry. Sad. Life is never the same. Still am reminded of her every single day.


2003: 21 years old
Ended my first real relationship with someone I really cared about. Figured out to be a good and bad girlfriend. Learned how and how not to treat an ex-boyfriend. We still keep in touch today amidst previous drama.

Visited the most Western part of the 48 states near Eureka, CA. Amazed by the redwoods. Moved friend home by helping to drive an 8 foot UHaul from Northern California to West Bend.

Had a whole bunch of fun going out, partying, dating (well I was 21 and single ready to mingle).


2004: 22 years old
Partied “Pat” who will turn out to be future fiancé’s cousin.

Dated the craziest designer/dancer who really helped me pushed my design work and he got me a job that would hire me full time in 2006.

Graduated UW-Milwaukee with a degree in Fine Arts


2005: 22 years old (I stayed 22 for two years)
Spent 3 months living in Australia, working in a small design/gallery shop. Met the most amazing friendly people. Learn how to open up and fall in love and travel by myself.

Sew my first Save the Earth bag and take to grocery store. Goodbye paper and plastic.

My friend & old roommate Molly passes away. Restore friendships.

Became a vegetarian for 6 months, right before Thanksgiving of all times.


2006: 24 years old
Started taking upholstery classes.

Meet someone who I thought could be “the one”. Look past all the red flags.

Promoted to full time status at work.


2007: 25 years old
I get a surprise Pomeranian puppy for 1 year anniversary that I don’t want.

Aaron tells me to meet him at a mutual friends housewarming party. Introduce myself to strangers in kitchen, one of them happens to be Mike. Mike helps me find a home for the puppy. Break up with loser boyfriend.

Divulge to Mike about wanting to sell my grocery totes, he connects me to the Milw. Public Market. I start selling my totes and even score an article in the Milwaukee Journal. Sales are booming.

July 14: First “real” date with Mike. Made chicken and capers, drank a bottle of wine, watched the movie the Prestige.

2008: 26 years old
Spend a long vacation with Mike in Cabo, Mexico.

Moved my 10th time in 10 years into Mike’s house.

My little sister gets married! Deliver most awesomeness speech ever. Best after wedding party ever!

2009: 27 years old
Mike proposes. I say yes.

Travel to the Philippines: explore culture, the land, the food and meet Mike’s family.

Quit my job. Accepted different one.

2009 top 20 moments

1.   Getting a new job
2.     Shopping, eating and getting a haircut in Manila
3.     Mike talking to himself in the voice of the Slumdog Millionare game show announcer in a public bathroom in Door County, not realizing a father and son where in the closed stall. He booked it to the car and told me to hit the gas.
4.     Attending Seven pant splitting weddings
5.     Listening to Grandpa’s animated stories while he pours himself three whisky straights
6.     Not quite remembering the craziness of the Sara/h’s 30^th birthday party
7.     Creating a new line of purses and selling in a store
8.     Danielle yelling “No, keep going” when trying to pull into a supper club up north
9.     Being able to understand Mike’s dad
10.  Burning the oven knob & being suspended from using appliances that could cause a fire
11.  Making new friends
12.  Driving 10 hours in a car to Cleveland while Mike’s mom tries to feed me lemon bars.
13.  Watching Mike and Brandon become brothers
14.  Listing to Vampire Weekend while driving to the mountains of Baguio
15.  Soaking up the sun, gambling & going to see O in Las Vegas with friends
16.  Hanging out on Boracy Beach in the crystal clear water
17.  Dinners with Dad
18.  Meeting all of Mike’s wonderful family in the Philippines
19.  Mike asking me to marry him outside the public market
20.  and the surprise engagement party afterwords.

Bluffing Fairness

Sometimes being a good person tells their honest opinion. And sometimes it's about sitting back, having a gin martini and not saying anything.

Red and Plaid make friends

Since starting the wristlet line in May I've been busy experiementing with different designs, sizes, pairing colors and adding new bangles. Over the past month I've been attached to my computer or sewing machine. Mike's been making me dinner and right after I escape to the basement with a glass of wine. It paid off. I've far exceeded my goals, the shop I'm consigning at in Whitefish Bay is doing well and I've had my first online sale on etsy. What suprised me the most is that my grocery totes sold. I had to call in my sister to help me double my inventory just to get through all my sales. This could be the first saturday in a long time where I'm not sewing or selling all day. Do you know what that means? I get to shop!

Find my bags/clutches/wristlets on blackbirdbags.etsy.com

My Thanksgiving in Cleveland

I'm about 12 hours away from leaving Cleveland but thought I'd share some highlights from my first Filipino Thanksgiving in Cleveland.

1. The eight hour car ride turned into 10 hours thanks to Chicago traffic. Note to self: Drive at night or by a plane ticket
2. Laughed when Mike's mom thought the car jack was Mike's exercise equipment
3. Mike's brother's house is perhaps the biggest house I've ever been in
4. There will always be food at all hours of the day.
5. Mike's nieces and nephews are so lovable and sweet it made the drive seem like nothing
6. Learned how to shoot a handgun. Now accepted by the brothers
7. Thanksgiving grace was combined with the news of another baby on the way
8. Woke up to a beautiful snowfall - good thing I packed socks
9. Black Friday shopping wasn't as nearly as bad as predicted
10. Hoping to telecommute back to Milwaukee through wine, didn't work on white, lets try red.

Vegas

I recently returned back from Vegas. A little R&R with Mike and a couple friends from Atlanta. Weather was 10 degrees above normal, shopping is insane, learned how to play blackjack and ate the best Filipino food so far in the states. We were so stuffed we didn't even bother with dinner. It may have been the cheapest & filling meal there. Some highlights include:

1. Watching Mike walk into the women's restroom (twice)
2. Walking through Venice
3. Walking through Paris
4. Gushing at how gorgeous the Wynn & Encore hotels are
5. Seeing “O”
6. Laying poolside while it’s 40 degrees in WI
7. Showing someone how to play slots
8. Getting asked if I was 16
9. Buying perfume from Appa Kappa
10. Staying clear of drinking and the wedding chapel

Curling Iron Heaven

I knew the end of my big barrel curling iron was near. I just didn't know it would be today. Yes the "on" button was floating somewhere inside, screws were loose, the outside was stained by a fushia lipstick and speckles of hairspray hung on. I could still manage to hit the on button, but today the light didn't show red. Impossible! I removed the cord from the socket, pushed reset on the socket, line up the cord to the socket, insert. ZAP! Poof! Sizzzzzz. And the power upstairs is lost.

I run downstairs, reboot the power, run up. Slowly lets try this again. Line up the cord to the socket, insert. It works! I start curling away. Then zap. zap. zap. zap. My finger feels funny and hot! Oh it must be that nest of exposed metal. Wonderful. Nothing like a little electrution to start the morning. The iron now lays in our trash can, awaiting pick up.

Did even matter if my hair was curled anyway. It was raining and didn't have my umbrella.

Stepping on the scale

The day after my workout wasn't too bad. However Friday was absolutely painful. My legs hurt so bad I had to hold onto the toliet paper dispenser in order to lower myself down. I had muscles in places I never knew and they ached, all of them. So yesterday I decided to step on the scale to see if any damange was made. The arrow creeped even higher. How could I know be at the heaviest I've ever been? How could I have gained two pounds since Monday?