Fortune Cookie

"It's amazing how much good you can do if you don't care who gets the credit"

The Weekend Update: Running on empty

I need another weekend to do my usual things like watch the next James Bond movie while drinking a pot of coffee, make Saturday hash browns, peruse ebay for new dress, watch a pointless Sunday made for TV movie, clip coupons, watch Grey Anatomy reruns, etc.


1. After work I went straight home and worked some more
2. Decided to put on some clothes and head over to the Doctor’s office for a benefit concert.
3. Watched a woman who could be considered a brick house and all her “seductive” dance moves. She was built like the lyrics she thought they were saying which happens to be not a lit a square, square face, square body, low blank tank top which I was very afraid her two saggy friends would knock over someone’s beer. Her dance moves included the hand on butt wiggle, the two-handed crotch and pivot grab, the grind on the speaker while showing off arm flab.
4. Went home and worked, woke up and worked some more.
5. Packed up the car and headed up to Appleton for a girls weekend.
6. Found out a few things about my friends, one is a huge, huge, huge rolling stones fan and started signing “I can’t get no satisfaction” but throughout the song she was replacing the real lyrics with tle off, but very off. We found out she does this for most songs. Another has a start-up pharmacy in her bathroom. The most sincere and nice friend has a mean edge when it comes to spoons. There wasn’t any blood but there could have been.
7. Had an overall good night and morning with my closest friends. They do something to the soul that roots your being and creates a bind of respect. Thank you ladies.
8. Headed back home to do more work
9. Headed over to a man-filled house where we drafted our fantasy football teams. Watch out boys! Who won last year – that’s right – I did!
10. Worked some more and finally crashed without watching Desperate Housewives.

8:15am pick-up line

While walking across the street from work, into walgreens I got thrown the line, "Hey sexy, where you going?" You were hoping I was going to drop getting my midol and play hooky to hang out with you? Would we frolic in the streets of downtown milwaukee and get a room at the Ho-Jo? I'll still have a killer cramp and an even bigger pms attitude but, hey you said I was sexy at 8:15 when I wanted to puke on your shoe.

Weekend Update: Change of Plans

As my entire weekend shifted around it ended up being very relaxing.

1. Went fishing on Silver Lake, which there was only one catchable fish.
2. Delighted in the bF cooking dinner for the second day in a row!
3. Hung out in the Children's section of the library
4. Filled my morning reading children's books at our backyard rummage sale.
5. Had a birthday dinner for Grandma's "special friend" in Oconomowoc.
6. She learned that you can now tip the waitress on the credit card slip rather than paying cash.
7. Picked up my gambling girlfriend and entered potowatomi for the first time ever.
8. After getting over my nervousness, I sat down at BlackJack table won and lost about $30 so I broke even.
9. Convinced my roomie that he should not bring his nasty chairs back up into the house and put them on the corner instead.
(You don't need 4 recliners in one room)
10. Went to bed with a cold mojito and an episode of House

Honey

Why does honey come in plastic bear containers rather than plastic bees?

I have a dress problem

I found out this weekend that I love dresses. Growing up I had to squeeze into the most ridiculous dresses for Sunday church. Sometimes I would have a matching dress with my sister, or even mom. Sometimes they had too many buttons or ties to undo so you could never make it to the bathroom without doing the potty dance. But after shopping at Marshal Fields and running my hand over all it's silky-ness, I found my home. There, in the middle of the forest of spring gowns, I fell in love with the most beautiful dress. Upon turning the price tag over I knew I had really good taste. I splurged, once, on a pair of Italian shoes. But spending over $200 on a dress that isn't white wasn't going to happen. Sooot I stumbled across my friend Ebay and what do you know he has my dress - he has lots of beautiful dresses. I have no idea what I would wear them all to but I love them in all their colors and lengths, and silkyness-es. Happy Bidding to me!

Nice and Mean People

I'm sitting at Panera Bread right now because they have wireless internet. There are a few outlets so usually when I come I sit in the back and put two small tables together. Just recently man a man that resembles an older fatter Nic Nolte carrying some sort of clear cleaner fluid and a dilapidated briefcase proceeded to move my smoothie across my setup and pulled the other table away! I can point out about 20 other spots in this place he could sit but what does he do? Take my table and put it together with another table on his left and points that the light had to be directly above him. Now he wants my table pushed farther to the wall! This dude doesn't understand that when I have to use my mouse my right elbow will scrape the wall. People are strange. He doesn't own the joint. Why should he be able to have two tables dedicated to poison fluid and bank deposit slips and I can't have two for my 15" laptop and smoothie! WHY!

On a lighter note, a woman at New York and Co. slid me a coupon for $30 off my purchase. There are good people here.

The Weekend Update: Going to the Chapel

Part I: Dad & Terri’s Wedding
1. The day started smoothly - got my nails done, hair-did, make up set. While lounging around eating my only breakfast/lunch banana strawberry yogurt drama in the bathroom erupted. No bobby pins. So I dropped my yogurt raced to Walmart ( hair up, make up done) screamed at the women in blue to point me to the bobby pin aisle. I made it round trip in 12 minutes.
2. Felt real pretty once getting my dress on.
3. Watched Dad and Terri get married outside on Pier Wisconsin, besides the man from the boat yelling "Don’t do it!" it was very nice.
4. Slammed 3 glasses of bubbly thus beginning the open-open-wide-open bar.
5. I now have a few prospects to enter in the reality show, "So you think you can dance?"
6. Was reassured that my bF was not only hot - but "fucking hot".
7. Did you know you don’t get a special prize after signing the marriage license as a witness?
8. The only danced I dance with a boy was my new younger brother. Well half of it because his friend called my friend loose and we had to depart immediately.
9. Went to Hi Hat - I miss the open bar.
10. Saturday morning: My whole body aches. Walking ½ mile to the knick for breakfast took me a half hour.


Part II: Fritz and Danielle’s Wedding
1. Recovered from Friday’s hangover exactly when fresh beer slid down the throat.
2. Found some old college classmates who thought I was married. HA!
3. It’s always a good time when Chris breaks out the couch dance. (This time it’s not a crappy couch in someone’s house but a lone couch with nothing but dance floor).
4. After the reception, proceed downtown to which we got lost and went into a gay bar.
5. So after everyone freaked out and left. I still had my beer and decided to make the most of it.
A. First, they play really great music.
B. Second, there are no guys to hit on me - which is a good thing
c. Third, at a gay bar girls will hit on you instead.
6. Found the bar we were supposed to be at which we took over the gigantic suffle-puck board.
7. Had an after-bar back in our hotel room.
A. Woke up more than enough people to join us.
b. My male friends are nuts and gay and I never want to see three grown men in a bath together again. Or two for that matter.
8. Woke up to a pretzel covered floor. Seriously.
9. Rounded up who ever was awake at noon to get some greasy breakfast.
10. It’s very strange to see two people whom I knew each before they met. Congrats!
Part:III: Recovery
Monday morning I was wedding out, sober and ready to do it all over again.

Russian cigarettes

Did you know that in Russia cigarettes only cost 40cents a pack? And in order to smoke it you twist the filter 90 degress and light up. Cool eh?

The way late weekend update

Ok so I’m dragging on this update post. Either I’m lazy or I just got employed full time.

1. Got hired full time – I never knew how so many hours really cut into my oprah and ice cream eating time.
2. Decided Milwaukee was just too posh for us and headed out to Oconomowoc to Coconut Joe’s. I’m really upset about missing the booty shaking contest.
3. Spent 5 hours hunting for a sundress in stores that had their fall clothing line out. It’s fucking 98 outside!
4. Is it possible to sweat right after you get out of the shower? Yeah.
5. Got to see a quaint little new house occupied by some lovely friends.
6. Met another martini drinking grandma.
7. Saw the best and biggest fireworks so far at Port Washington Fish Days.
8. Walked down to Silver Lake, jumped in, walked back up.
9. Babysat a one day old Pit Bull. He was so adorable!
10. Was very glad that for the first time the four squares (friends, family, job, love) of my life were at a peak.

The Weekend Update: Pushing through the liquid

1. Ate for the first time at the Milwaukee Public Market – It was delightful!
2. Went to Summerfest to watch my co-workers band. The best part about it was my co-worker’s daughter shakin’ her bad ass with corn on the cob in each hand.
3. During my interrupted Gina-Time on Friday I discovered my roommate had thought way into the future about the girl who stood him up. She stood him up because she is carring someone’s elses baby. My roommate decided if they were to seriously date she would have to have an abortion or give it up for adoption! This would be their third date in 2 months. His already on date number 4 with this other woman who has a 5 year old kid. Who’s your Momma!
4. Woke up to a 6:06 am text message asking me to do my dishes from the baby daddy roomie. Yup in order to get some action dishes need to be done first, nevermind he is 29 and sleeps on a futon. So I did my dishes and then made hashbrowns and steam swiss chard, using various dishes for each that wouldn’t get washed until (yikes) Sunday.
5. Started at Lakefront Brewery to kick off the “BIG BIRTHDAY EXTRAVAGANA” We packed the beer cruise boat (minus 6 seats)
6. Had a stalker/paparazzi fan who wouldn’t stop taking pictures of me and wouldn’t ask my name until the 3 and final bar. I was wearing a tube top so any pictures looks like I forgot to put on clothes.


7. The troops were rounded and we had a 30 person dinner at Brew City. (They know how to do drinks, not food.)
8. Walked over to the Harp where we came in contact with “Bridzilla”. This means Amazon woman on her bachelorette party who may or may not know she has a mustache.
9. Headed to Sarah’s house where Sara explained the tactics of sex, oh and horoscopes. Thank you.
10. Hey Ryan and Sara, where’s the gingerbread men?
11. Walked over to the patio at Halliday’s where everyone got even slightly more intoxicated.
12. Stumbled over to Jo Cats where we did some sweaty dancing. It was hot, very hot.
13. Got pulled aside by Jeff telling me “You better be nice to this one (my guy) I like him”.
14. Woke up with a minor headache. Then went back to bed.
15. Sunday was bloody hot, passing out in front of my air conditioner was a very good idea.



16. Walked down to summerfest and on my way down a small rain cloud started chasing me. Yup exactly like in the cartoons.
17. Jeff met me at summerfest, in the pouring rain, and hail and in the women’s restroom.
18. After the storm passed and the crowd had thinned out summerfest was up and running.
19. Had my best time at the fest. Saw 6 bands which included a makeshift gospel choir, Pat McCurdy, the Boogiemen, the LoveMonkeys, Agualung and Buckwheat Zygot. Front row for Aqualung!
20. Happy Birthday Sara, Sarah and Becca!

The Independent Weekend Update

It’s been a long weekend (plus a workday)

1. Couldn’t sleep so stayed up working, painting the trim of my place and watching my favorite late night tv show – Elimidate!
2. Almost blew away in the Saturday wind while walking the lakefront
3. Toured a beautiful Pier Wisconsin – Discovery World
4. Traded a homemade dinner for designing a Ryan Cabrera flyer
5. Finally saw my man after 5 days without! I don’t know if I’ll be able to take a vacation sans man.
6. If you watch the movie “The Squid and The Whale” take a sedative.
7. Saw the new fashion trend in Racine, men in short cut off shorts, brown belt, black shirt, white socks and cell phone holster. I couldn’t stop drooling.
8. Bought a shit-ton of fireworks!
9. Bought the most fattening food ever. Nope not McDonalds, it’s Harry and Davids Mozzeralla dip. (12grams of fat per 1 tablespoons). In a week I will have gained 297g
10. Light off the shit-top of fireworks in West Bend. Dad offered Terry the grill cover for a “just in case the fireworks come your way” shield.
11. Found out a river in West Bend I thought for 24 years was NOT the Milwaukee river.
12. Contrary to popular belief I am 24. In a little less than 6 more months I will be 25.
13. Went to work on Monday!
14. My friends decided to stalk me in to finally meet my man. Nice going, where’d you buy the back masks.
15. Accidentally met the man’s friends right before the big bang. Vaseline was involved – is that weird?
16. Missed some quality entertainment by one of my favorite friends. Three stories – that’s some good distance.
17. Judged a beauty contest for the WB duck derby.
18. Made a dinner I haven’t had in almost 10 years. Yup ring baloney stir fry!
19. Ended up at the Franklin Fair to watch the fourth fireworks.
20. New month = new pie of the month at Baker’s Square.

Umbrella Anyone?

I think I'm going to start drinking daiquiris at work. I'm working overtime w/ no sight of seeing the payoff. I'll put the blender next to my phone that way I can't hear it ring. The rum will sit next to my pen/pencil holder because if I have to write something I'll just take a pull and forget about it. I'll have the guy in the stand downstairs bring me fresh fruit everyday - will call that mail delivery. Ice will get tricky - my co-worker has a small fridge and he might become suspicious. Will have to coincide bathroom breaks will ice cube smuggling. Now if someone could bring me one of those small umbrellas.....

Pinwheels

This may come as a strange request but I'm working on a project that uses pinwheels. If anyone has any photos running with pinwheells, blowing pinwheels, garden pinwheels, etc... send them my way!!!!

The Weekend Update: Should come with a Warning

Some things should come with a warning label.

1. Our waitress at Mama Mia's should leave her botox needle and shimmery lipgloss behind.
2. Love songs from 1983 should not be allowed in clubs.
3. Tequila may cause drowsiness at the County Claire
4. Working on the weekends is not fun and makes one stay sober.
5. Men get PMS too.
6. Black lingerie, furry lingerie, pink lingerie on someone other than me or a mannequin is scary
7. When older women get drunk the world is at their fingertips.
8. Getting my nails and toes done may be addictive.
9. Painting with a combination of alcohol will create chaos and a little less painting.
10. Remember when you share pie to always steal the larger piece.

What do you think?

Question: If one doesn't fancy their job, at what point does one take the risk and change what their doing?

Johnson Bus night @ the Brewer Game

Check out these two Brewer hotties!

The Weekend Update: Vacation

After a stressful week of work I went on a weekend vacation with the boyfriend.

1. Danced around the office with a large scale cutout of a panther cartoon character designed by me!
2. Headed up to Shawano. Grandma said "She would be on her best behavior" when meeting my man - and she was.
3. Learned that there are some crystal skulls floating around latin america that supposedly hold a bunch of information in. Like a computer. If I come across one I'll plug my firewire cable in and see what happens.
4. Woke up early and headed to Door County.
5. Toured Door Peninsula Winery where the samples where endless. Toured Orchard Winery where the pours where too small. Toured Stone Creek Winery where I was in desperate need of a nap.
6. Went to one of those "Small Town Art Fairs" where it should be titled - "Stuff for your dog, swimsuits for your Aunt still in the 80's and things to put under your glass.
7. Had a stellar dinner followed by Door Peninsula Blackberry Wine on the porch of our hotel. I may have walked into the screen door
8. Found another good winery - Von Stiel in Algoma. There pours started with a half glass for tasting. How could you not love this place. Plus they make the wine covered chocolates! Carrie make note!
9. Sadly headed back to Milwaukee, but was delighted that I was able to spend the entire with weekend with a man I adore.
10. Watched Old Boy - a Korean flick - very disturbing which left me perturbed for a couple hours.

Sweat

Is it possible to sweat from all your body parts? Because right now I can see 4lbs sliding down to my toes.

The Weekend Update: Still Full

1. Started off with a fab fondue party. I may have spiked some of the pots, especially the chocolate one.
2. Cruised over to Flannerys for more unnecessary drinks
3. Expanded our booth dancing over to the Jo Cats floor.
4. Yup, haven'’t woken up with a hangover since the Seattle incident
5. Watched a movie I thought I wouldnÂ’t like and ended up crying like a school girl
6. Cozied up at Cozi
7. Had to prep the guy to meet Grandma, step one: Learn how to play dominoes
8. New that I would not be stunned by the movie the Breakup
9. Found the girls that I've been searching for - P. Diddy's making the band group of girls is coming back on TV. Brace yourself!
10. Finally got pie of the month at Baker's Square. This month is key lime yummy