The Weekend Report: Thanksgiving in Cali

The extended weekend included a family outing to one of my favorite destinations, California. Rather than stay someplace we have already we decided Laguna Beach would be fun and entertaining. If I was 40 something, married to a venture capitalist yeah I might like botox Mondays and buying my spoiled brats a lotus for Christmas. But as you all know I am a bit more grounded than that. However, I do miss breakfast on the patio overlooking the ocean.

The last day was spent enjoying Santa Monica and Venice Beach. Soon I felt more at ease with the street performers and the bum eating the leftovers of my salad. There’s nothing pretentious about it. The bum isn’t fake, the woman strumming her guitar isn’t fake and certainly the man covered in silver isn’t fake. You could go up to each of the them and have a normal conversation – one that doesn’t include a brokerage account or jimmy choo shoes.

Feels like a Monday

It feels like a Monday. It was nonstop work today from 7:30-5 sans my 10 minutes emailing the girls about our Thursday Bob Seger adventure while shoving noodles in my mouth. But now I’m home and before I head off to upholstery I wanted to say that I had a great weekend. Friday night had dinner at Café Lulu in Bayview, then off to play pool at a pool hall in southside, Milwaukee. Thinking I had my fill of the southside – Sara and I headed back on Saturday to the budget cinema and watched a very stupid movie – but it was better than the basic channel tv movies. Later that night – when I wanted to call it quits from formatting this 100+ page manual and hit my bed Sara called, as planned.

Sara and I haven’t had an unplanned night out in the longest time and every single time it is unplanned it exceeds all expectations. Plus the both of us hadn’t had a night out together since Carrie came down we tap danced with 14 year old boys. So we started out at the Twisted Fork hoping to be served by the best bartender in town. He wasn’t there but this couple in their late 30’s provided great people watching. According to our instincts – this man and woman are on their second date. They were sharing a cosmo, which rarely takes place between those in a serious relationship. The man had his feet propped up on her seat, head titled back, crotch very visible to her eyes. It was like he was saying “Are you drunk enough, come back to my place, did I mention I have a Picasso?” She maintained eye contact, so she was into him but her back was tight and she was questioning if this guy is the guy for her. After ordering another martini we couldn’t take watching this four-play so we headed to Vittuci’s.

Vittuci’s was the same as always – just younger. A group of guys who we deemed college players turned out to be intellectual, serious and conservative UWM alumns.
Sara developed a small crush on the blond curly haired guy who is a teacher for inner city mentally handicapped kids. Ouuuuuu…..

Then the best part of every night is ending it at Jo Cats. We met up with another group of girls and rocked the dance floor Latino style. When we were all hot and sweaty it felt really good to walk out the door and let the cold neutralize the body. It was a good night. I couldn’t feel the cold air not because I was intoxicated, but because I was happy and full of energy. I work very hard and it’s hard to let loose but somedays you just deserve it.

Revenge of the Roommate

It was a weekend without the barn yard animal roommate. It was fabulous – not that I stayed in my apartment the whole time – it was just nice to know he wasn’t there and will be playing with a rifle and trees for the next months. It’s Sunday night and I’ve had a successful weekend, hanging out with my family, extending family, friends and the boyfriend who couldn’t talk. I’ve managed to work out a 4-day work schedule with every Monday off.

So this Monday I wake up rather early and think – yeah I should start working on my freelance projects. So I get up, hear the barn yarn animal downstairs and decided to wait to go downstairs until he leaves. Ugh! I can’t wait anymore I have to make my coffee and shower. On my way to the bathroom, there on the side of the counter top sit a long yellow plastic bread bag with now minus two pieces of bread, which reside on top of the bag covered in jam. Not even 30 seconds and he’s into my stuff. I hop in the shower and wait till he is gone to make sure that is my loaf I bread. I wildly open all the cupboards cursing at ‘W’ once confirming that that Home Pride loaf is indeed mine, it’s the only Home Pride load in the entire kitchen! Oh and what is this befriending his 7 boxes of granola bars? A half bag of sugar – huh…that kinda looks like mine. I dodge back to my cabinet – no sugar.

It turns out my nice lecture on respect is out the window, and now I want revenge. Any input?

I finally started yelling

I yelled at my roommate yesterday. It felt good.

Tuesdays are very busy for me – I work from 8-5, then run home to quick eat, then jump in my car and head to upholstery class. I don’t get home until 9:30 which this Tuesday I have to go straight to my laptop and work 3 more hours on freelance. This means I don’t have time for anything else. When I get home “W” has my hair dryer out and is sealing up the plastic on the windows. Fine – but how long was he in my room looking for my hair dryer? Then on my way to my upstairs room -hands full with cookies and milk, “W” tells me, not asks me, “ I’m going to need a hand in 5 minutes.” Seriously dude this wasn’t in my agenda and I head upstairs shaking my head. “And I’m going to wrap your skylight next.” At which point I have to put my foot down and tell him gently I want him no where upstairs.

The next morning I’m blow drying my hair when I look at my nicely covered chair I did last semester. Wait is that a shoe print? I run to my closet grab my sneakers and to my best judgement they are 2 inches shy of that mark. I run downstairs looking for the stepper but god saved him, he has already left for work.

Wed night I get home. There he is cluttering up the sink. I went in for the kill.
Me: “Did you step on my green chair?”
W: “Oh o, did I break it?”
Me: “ Why did you step on my chair?”
W: “Oh shoot I’m sorry”
Me: “ W, I worked long and hard on the chair for it NOT to be stepped on! You’re always disrespecting my stuff, you eat my bananas, you threw away my bridesmaid bouquet and you go through my room without even asking! I’m sick of hearing I’m sorry – just cut it out and respect my stuff”

That should do it – if not his raisin bran is going over the balcony.

seeking refuge

I've been somewhat hiding from posting anything. I've been conflicted.

Since then I've taken a big, (30+ people big) vacation up to Door County for Grandma's birthday. Besides wearing colored coded shirts it turned out well. The bF came up and suprisingly wasn't scared by my 6ft tall family on beer. The best part of the whole trip was at 2:00am when we decided to go for a walk because we couldn't sleep. We walked around in our sweats looking up at stars - just talking and fantasizing when two strangers come towards us stumbling and stuttering "Wheressss thhheee lexussssess weee neeeeed toooo geeeeeeet baaaack! to the harboooor" Nina and her brother-in-law, our new midnight friends, closed the resort bar and now need to get back to the "harbor", their lodge. We point them in the direction where they have to walk through 3 ft of woods. We it looks like the brother in law just about reaches the other side he falls, which results in a bit of blood running from his forehead down to his nose. Nina thinks this is absolutely hilarious and falls backward. They were going to back it back by themselves. So I grab the brother in law and the bF grabs Nina. The brother in law I'll call him bill is about 50, short and stalking, hair somewhat gray and in convinced we came to his brothers Italian resturaunt. "Surrree I saw you and your huuuuuusband. I'm suuuure of it!" I went along with him as to not cause any disagreement. Nina was this petite woman clad in expensive jewelry. I found out later that her husband was off in china. We finally made it to there lodge. Now Nina and Bill where are your keys to get into the building?
Bill: "Nina I gave you the f*cking keys! check your purse nina! Nina I'm freezing my balls off! Nina where's the f*cking key!"
Nina (now sitting, head at a 45 degree angle to the side and drooling from the corners of her mouth) I told you I don't have the key
My bF takes off running towards the main office to get a security which leaves me some quality time with bill and nina. Bill is now swaying and I have to put my arm around him so he doesn't fall over. Both think we are excellent people for helping them back and invite us in for a cocktail. Bill wants to give me some peanuts he found in his jacket. Finally a golf cart bounces through the woods with room key on board. Bill runs in and thanks the security guard because he "was freezing his balls off"

What an interesting way to end the evening. We slept very well and hope nina and bill were able to locate some aspirin in the morning.

Last weekend I spent with my sister my good friends carrie and sara and road trip to Oconomowoc to see the Love Monkeys at coconut Joe's. Ladies - if you want to here some good pickup lines this is the place to go.
- I accidentally bumped in a guy which he explains that this isn't a pickup line but I have the softest skin. I told him all women have soft skin - especially babies.
- A guy who my sister had pointed out that she gave him her number came up to me after and started sizing me up at which I stopped him and asked him " hey didn't my sister just give you her number?"
- A girl and behalf of some guy came up to me and said I should really say hi to this guy at the bar because he thinks I'm just amazing.
- A gentleman about 40 walked right up to me shook his head and said" If only I was 10 years younger" and walked away.
- A group of guys that look about 14 going on 15 became our groupies. The look in there eyes so desperately wanted their skinny bodies a chance at manhood.
- My sister threw an older (50year old), regular Love Monkey groupie my way. He told me how gorgeous and had to talk really close to my ear to tell me about the bar he almost bought because it was really loud but then he proceeded to put his mustache and lips on my cheek. (cringe! and proceed to my sister - how dare she!)
- This is the best one. A guy comes up to me at the end of the night and asks why us hotties aren't dancing anymore. Which I explain it is the end of the night and we are going to head home. Then he asks if talking to me is worth his time at which I say yes but if you're under 30 you could talk to my sister. What does he do? Stay and I'm not sure if he was trying to impress me but he explains that he is recently divorced - but it's just legal stuff 'cause you know I just didn't like the relationship and it just ended and it doesn't really matter. come have lunch with my on monday 'cause I don't work.

Good stuff I needed the humor because the rest of the weekend and the week became much serious.

Learning that the man who you fell in love with has changed is causing a huge strain. This is why I haven't been posting. I don't know what to say. I don't know how I feel because it changes from one day to the next. Because my mother passed so quickly I definitely have a fear of losing people and if I can control it then it's not a problem. So when the bF has some medical problems that need to be diagnosed it causes me great worry not only to his condition but to us because it's just not the same. How do I deal with things going from absolutely perfect to not perfect?

It's F**^&%$#%%# COLD!

I waited 15 minuetes for the bus. Which is enough time to curse Wisconsin and a handsome man for keeping me here. Thank you, I think.

Gross!

Yesterday while riding the bus home this woman pulled a kleenex out of her napsack, tore a piece off and put it in her mouth! GROSS!

The Weekend report: Turkey crossing

As the weather swings from warm to cold and back to semi-warm there's something that connects my mood to the weather. When it gets cold I get seasonal depression. I can't wear sandals and of course nothing seems to look good without my open toe heels. It's really an ordeal. It takes so much longer to get dressed - you're shivering right after you get out of the bath. You think you have to go to bed at 6pm just because it's pitch black outside. Now if it were 70 and dark that would be ok - I could still wear the shoes.

So I know it's coming and I'm spending yet another winter in Milwaukee. I'm in love what can I do? So I'm here and decided to go shopping for a fantastic fall wardrobe. I could be cold but I could be stylish -right? WRONG- turns out no one will be this season. I remember when I was back in the 6th grade. I thought I was so cool wearing black spandex with a huge patterned sweater. I don't want to go back the 6th grade, but the stores are flooded with sweaters and spandex. So what do I do? I can't convert - no way. I'm going to have to hire a therapist just to deal with the enormous buttons and masses of yarn. I will not but my cash to the 80's or happy pills. but what do I do now - shop at vintage stores to go back to 2005?

Ok so the turkeys....

I've spend a lot of time thinking about family and what I want to do with my life. Little did I know - that takes toll on the mind. If your my friends you now that I'm an incredibly impatient person. So of course I want everything to happen NOW! Of course, logically, I know nothing is going to change this minute. I have to deal with it. Emotional crap is tough stuff and I can understand when so many people are on antidepressants. It takes the edge of dealing with the unknown. So does red wine and a couple of good listeners.

This morning, when I was driving up a long drive way there were two turkeys. Huge turkeys. Then they decided to briskly wobble across. Thanksgiving is coming.

The weekend report: just smile at them and they’ll buy us a shot.

I’ve been very good about going out and being reasonable in drinking and blowing my money. But this weekend I brought drinking back. Go here we go.

1. Had to have a good base in the stomach so we started at Pitch’s for fine dining, minus the cracked out waitress, the golden girl wife who left her husband talking to the two year old who all he cared about was making the spoon stay on his nose. I had the poor-man’s lobster - I highly recommend it.
2. Loaded up my corona for some pre-party festivities at my place. Drinking games can be hazardous to your health if you don’t actively participate in the college lifestyle.
3. Walked across the street to Scafiddi’s where I lost in darts and don’t remember leaving the bar.
4. Walked further down the street to a new bar called the “Good Life” It was good and expensive and a bar that doesn’t have any single dollar bills doesn’t get a tip.
5. At Jo Cats I ended up with a broken finger nail from dancing. I don’t know how but I remember dancing and the next thing I know is that there is blood oozing out from under my fingernail. That ended the night.
6. Hey Sara, you forgot to leave your phone number on my pillow.
7. Woke up with an enormous headache and my slumber party friends all had found there way home, so I watched James Bond with my bowl of cereal. (without bananas because the stupid roommate ate my bananas.)
8. Convinced myself that I was able to play kickball in the rain. Our team lost by one point but I made an awesome catch it the muddy field.
9. Learned that if you run Roundy’s vodka through a brita pitcher 10 times it will be equivalent to top shelf. Hey Grandma – I wonder if you can do that with your Fleishman’s Gin?
10. Got a huge present – Fabric Samples to make my save the earth bags.
11. Cleaned up and headed to my friend’s condo warming party we are was force fed a large amount of food and alcohol.
12. Before I couldn’t drive I had to make it to Water St. to meet my sister and her friends out for a 21st birthday party.
13. Guys are gullible – my sis and I convinced a group we were twins. And if you look cute they will buy you shots. Hence taking me back to my parting like a 21 year old.
14. Rolled over to Buckhead where we were able to skip the whole line. We were that hot.
15. Made my way over to my co-worker/new bartender who hooked us up with the ski shot and some discounted beverages.
16. The rest is a blur, lots of dancing, lots of wandering.
17. Things that I do remember: Drunk calling the lead singer of the Love Monkeys to tell him to finish a Springsteen song on stage. Talking to some guy that liked my sister and hading me $20 to buy us all a round. Umm did he want me to put in a good word? Opps- but thanks for the drink. Dancing with my sis’s girl friend and having her tell me to smile at some guys so they buy us a shot – which they did! Then she dragged me to the bar, where she told me I needed another. I looked at my half full glass which she slammed and order two more which she threw $5 down and walked away. Sassy! Learned that the drunkest one of the group threw money off a bridge and threw her phone at a guy’s forehead and cracked the screen. Quality.
18. Woke up to my bathroom with my entire bottom cupboard out on the floor. Still can’t figure out what I was looking for.
19. Spent Sunday in West Bend sobering up and watching the Packers win.
20. Learned that sometimes it is refreshing to party like a kid again. I can’t do it every weekend or every month but it good to get some craziness out of your system. It was definitely needed.

Feeding Bees

Here's a picture I captured of bees eatting grape jelly.

I was up north last weekend for a great outting out of milwaukee. It was low-stress. I planted pansies.

Thursday - already?

I haven't forgotten about you. I've just been having a million guns of light aim at my face for 14 hours a day. It's fun. An especially when you get home and want to make dinner, except that the garbage can is in the backyard, the garbage that was in there is now in the freezer and my dishes that have been missing for two days are found on the balcony. What a whack job. This roomie claims he is a minimalist and likes things clean but everyday when I come down the stairs into the 2nd level there is his twin size matteresss with the mystery stain on it. Men don't get periods but this one shows evidence. There was no way it he brought a woman home under the sheets of this bed. No decent gal would sleep in a twin size mattress with a 29 year old. well unless of course she was freshly 18. (The roomie now has upgraded or in my terms downgraded to a futon). The same logic still applies and hence shows why no ladies friends of him have lasted. And I'm spent back to some computer radiation.

Fortune Cookie

"It's amazing how much good you can do if you don't care who gets the credit"

The Weekend Update: Running on empty

I need another weekend to do my usual things like watch the next James Bond movie while drinking a pot of coffee, make Saturday hash browns, peruse ebay for new dress, watch a pointless Sunday made for TV movie, clip coupons, watch Grey Anatomy reruns, etc.


1. After work I went straight home and worked some more
2. Decided to put on some clothes and head over to the Doctor’s office for a benefit concert.
3. Watched a woman who could be considered a brick house and all her “seductive” dance moves. She was built like the lyrics she thought they were saying which happens to be not a lit a square, square face, square body, low blank tank top which I was very afraid her two saggy friends would knock over someone’s beer. Her dance moves included the hand on butt wiggle, the two-handed crotch and pivot grab, the grind on the speaker while showing off arm flab.
4. Went home and worked, woke up and worked some more.
5. Packed up the car and headed up to Appleton for a girls weekend.
6. Found out a few things about my friends, one is a huge, huge, huge rolling stones fan and started signing “I can’t get no satisfaction” but throughout the song she was replacing the real lyrics with tle off, but very off. We found out she does this for most songs. Another has a start-up pharmacy in her bathroom. The most sincere and nice friend has a mean edge when it comes to spoons. There wasn’t any blood but there could have been.
7. Had an overall good night and morning with my closest friends. They do something to the soul that roots your being and creates a bind of respect. Thank you ladies.
8. Headed back home to do more work
9. Headed over to a man-filled house where we drafted our fantasy football teams. Watch out boys! Who won last year – that’s right – I did!
10. Worked some more and finally crashed without watching Desperate Housewives.

8:15am pick-up line

While walking across the street from work, into walgreens I got thrown the line, "Hey sexy, where you going?" You were hoping I was going to drop getting my midol and play hooky to hang out with you? Would we frolic in the streets of downtown milwaukee and get a room at the Ho-Jo? I'll still have a killer cramp and an even bigger pms attitude but, hey you said I was sexy at 8:15 when I wanted to puke on your shoe.

Weekend Update: Change of Plans

As my entire weekend shifted around it ended up being very relaxing.

1. Went fishing on Silver Lake, which there was only one catchable fish.
2. Delighted in the bF cooking dinner for the second day in a row!
3. Hung out in the Children's section of the library
4. Filled my morning reading children's books at our backyard rummage sale.
5. Had a birthday dinner for Grandma's "special friend" in Oconomowoc.
6. She learned that you can now tip the waitress on the credit card slip rather than paying cash.
7. Picked up my gambling girlfriend and entered potowatomi for the first time ever.
8. After getting over my nervousness, I sat down at BlackJack table won and lost about $30 so I broke even.
9. Convinced my roomie that he should not bring his nasty chairs back up into the house and put them on the corner instead.
(You don't need 4 recliners in one room)
10. Went to bed with a cold mojito and an episode of House

Honey

Why does honey come in plastic bear containers rather than plastic bees?

I have a dress problem

I found out this weekend that I love dresses. Growing up I had to squeeze into the most ridiculous dresses for Sunday church. Sometimes I would have a matching dress with my sister, or even mom. Sometimes they had too many buttons or ties to undo so you could never make it to the bathroom without doing the potty dance. But after shopping at Marshal Fields and running my hand over all it's silky-ness, I found my home. There, in the middle of the forest of spring gowns, I fell in love with the most beautiful dress. Upon turning the price tag over I knew I had really good taste. I splurged, once, on a pair of Italian shoes. But spending over $200 on a dress that isn't white wasn't going to happen. Sooot I stumbled across my friend Ebay and what do you know he has my dress - he has lots of beautiful dresses. I have no idea what I would wear them all to but I love them in all their colors and lengths, and silkyness-es. Happy Bidding to me!

Nice and Mean People

I'm sitting at Panera Bread right now because they have wireless internet. There are a few outlets so usually when I come I sit in the back and put two small tables together. Just recently man a man that resembles an older fatter Nic Nolte carrying some sort of clear cleaner fluid and a dilapidated briefcase proceeded to move my smoothie across my setup and pulled the other table away! I can point out about 20 other spots in this place he could sit but what does he do? Take my table and put it together with another table on his left and points that the light had to be directly above him. Now he wants my table pushed farther to the wall! This dude doesn't understand that when I have to use my mouse my right elbow will scrape the wall. People are strange. He doesn't own the joint. Why should he be able to have two tables dedicated to poison fluid and bank deposit slips and I can't have two for my 15" laptop and smoothie! WHY!

On a lighter note, a woman at New York and Co. slid me a coupon for $30 off my purchase. There are good people here.

The Weekend Update: Going to the Chapel

Part I: Dad & Terri’s Wedding
1. The day started smoothly - got my nails done, hair-did, make up set. While lounging around eating my only breakfast/lunch banana strawberry yogurt drama in the bathroom erupted. No bobby pins. So I dropped my yogurt raced to Walmart ( hair up, make up done) screamed at the women in blue to point me to the bobby pin aisle. I made it round trip in 12 minutes.
2. Felt real pretty once getting my dress on.
3. Watched Dad and Terri get married outside on Pier Wisconsin, besides the man from the boat yelling "Don’t do it!" it was very nice.
4. Slammed 3 glasses of bubbly thus beginning the open-open-wide-open bar.
5. I now have a few prospects to enter in the reality show, "So you think you can dance?"
6. Was reassured that my bF was not only hot - but "fucking hot".
7. Did you know you don’t get a special prize after signing the marriage license as a witness?
8. The only danced I dance with a boy was my new younger brother. Well half of it because his friend called my friend loose and we had to depart immediately.
9. Went to Hi Hat - I miss the open bar.
10. Saturday morning: My whole body aches. Walking ½ mile to the knick for breakfast took me a half hour.


Part II: Fritz and Danielle’s Wedding
1. Recovered from Friday’s hangover exactly when fresh beer slid down the throat.
2. Found some old college classmates who thought I was married. HA!
3. It’s always a good time when Chris breaks out the couch dance. (This time it’s not a crappy couch in someone’s house but a lone couch with nothing but dance floor).
4. After the reception, proceed downtown to which we got lost and went into a gay bar.
5. So after everyone freaked out and left. I still had my beer and decided to make the most of it.
A. First, they play really great music.
B. Second, there are no guys to hit on me - which is a good thing
c. Third, at a gay bar girls will hit on you instead.
6. Found the bar we were supposed to be at which we took over the gigantic suffle-puck board.
7. Had an after-bar back in our hotel room.
A. Woke up more than enough people to join us.
b. My male friends are nuts and gay and I never want to see three grown men in a bath together again. Or two for that matter.
8. Woke up to a pretzel covered floor. Seriously.
9. Rounded up who ever was awake at noon to get some greasy breakfast.
10. It’s very strange to see two people whom I knew each before they met. Congrats!
Part:III: Recovery
Monday morning I was wedding out, sober and ready to do it all over again.

Russian cigarettes

Did you know that in Russia cigarettes only cost 40cents a pack? And in order to smoke it you twist the filter 90 degress and light up. Cool eh?