turning Folk

Bruce Springsteen new album, We Shall Overcome, the Seeger Sessions, was released on Tuesday. I haven't stopped listening to it. While it is clear break from his classic rock it still is Bruce. Simple ballads songs are decorated with violins, trumpets, a tuba, a trombone, a banjo and even an accordion. There's a rooted serenity in how these songs are played. Removed from the sudio and recording in a country house comes out in the innocence of the song. If I could roll up my jeans and stomp in the mud I would, oh wait, I can!

The MAN candle

There's a man candle in the dining room. It suprisingly doesn't smell like girl or bakery. It smells like thick musty blueberries. So kudos to the candle factory for appealing to the male species.

Gina makes an arse out of herself

So yesterday I had a nice social activity with a handsome lad. We went to the driving range and then decided to stop at a burger joint. When the woman rings up the total I say, "I got it because you brought the balls." Pause. Pause. Pause. Yeah some people tell me I have a way with words.

The Weekend Update: Everyone’s getting old

1. Threw Dad a surprise birthday party although my Dad is a smart man and has his way of finding out about things.
2. The guy who made me wet myself when I was a kid brought tears to my eyes.
3. I haven’t accomplished one of my new years resolutions: Acquire a taste for martinis. This would have been the perfect time as Grandma was sipping them delightfully.
4. I really like upholstering
5. Discovered Bayview and had a fabulous birthday dinner for one of my many lovely friends.
6. I think my friend should start a car dancing sport.
7. Thrift shopping is best when you locate a shop in the wealthiest neighborhoods.
8. My hope to have a rockstar evening on Saturday turned into a Jazz affair on Sunday.
9. Working very hard the week before makes the weekend so much easier.
10. The week is best started with a walk to work with Jeff.

Beer for Breakfast

As usual, on my walks to work I usually notice something out of the ordinary. This morning I was crossing a street near the MSOE campus when this guy (a rugged 50 but slim) was riding his yellow bicycle. When I bring a lunch to work I usually throw it in a plastic bag and wrap it around my bike handles. This is because my bag is full of work shoes, a coffee thermos, a calendar and other misc items. It is quite hard to do this and I give credit to this man for riding with this plastic bag that could at any time jab into the front tire causing a scenario. Today, though, I could see the contents inside this plastic bag - three shinny cans of ICEHOUSE. It was 8:26 dude in the am. Here is what I'm thinking.

A. His wife left him and was grabbing the beer before she hit the road and a meesly 3 was all he could manage to save.
B. He found a way to drink during the workday at which I will have to find him to take lessons.
C. He was too drunk this morning to distinguish the coke cans from the beer cans.
D. He is on a new diet. Breakfast: beer, Lunch: beer, Snack: beer.
E. He works third shift and is headed for his after work drink since bars are not open.
F. He is just having a really bad morning.

The Weekend Update: Bear Right

If you would like to make a slight turn in Northern Wisconsin and Minnesota you would "bear right" instead of taking a slight right. This an other new learnings below.

1. Driving up to Mall of America takes way to long
2. Bridesmaid dresses can be found in a color and style that the whole bridal party is happy with - at the first store.
3. Customer service is horrible. Register Lady: The strapeless one comes with strapes or Would you like to try a size eight in a blue? ME: I'm not a size eight and we are not wearing blue.
4. Danielle will get served a water alongside a cocktail just because the waitress mistakes comedy for drunkeness
5. June Bugs does a body good.
6. Some men like to be rated in order of boyfriend potential.
7. UPF = Upper Pussy Fat (This woman looked like she was carry a cow's uterus below her belly button)
8. Speeding because I can't stand sitting will cause the State Trooper (female) to pull me over.
9. Teaching a 2 1/2 year old to blow bubbles is adorable.
10. Pepto must follow easter candy eatting.

The morning girl in kitchen scenario

This morning I went down to the kitchen to fill my thermos up with coffee and there was a girl there. Hmmm. And then she sat down in the living room and didn't say anything. One of my roomie's has a girlfriend so I called out, "Hey are you so and so's girlfriend?" Which she responded, " I'm his ex-girlfriend." I know he wouldn't cheat on his current girl due to our first gossip conversation about how mad he was at his mate for breaking one of the commandments. So if this girl was current girlfriend turned ex why was she still in the vacinity when he wasn't present?

The Weekend Update: The Warm front is moving up

So while most of my girlfriends left me for Vegas and Minnesota and my guy friends left me for an ex-boyfriends wedding I spent the weekend twidling my thumbs, yeah not really.

1. Thought I was going to a formal dinner party until the wedding veil, feather boa and whip came out.
2. Made it to Turner Hall for dinner and didn't get sick. Last time I had the fish fry I puked on the sidewalk an hour later.
3. Went to this great German beer House where the girls wore tight bossom dresses and some men wore leprachan shorts.
4. Threw a temper-tantrum in my upholstery class
5. Set up my new pad so it feels more like home.
6. Headed to North Ave only to retire from ever playing darts again, well unless I get a handicap of 51 points.
7. Capital Brewery has a new beer which is absolutely fantastic.
8. Added onto my New Years Resolution: Learn how to make pancakes
9. Watch my high school crush, Vince Carter, play and beat the Bucks.
10. Embraced this new weather called the sixties!

Do Wa Diddy Diddy Dum Diddy DO

Does anyone know what happened to Puffy Daddy aka Sean Combs aka Diddy aka P Diddy's band? I got sucked into a MTV marathon of making the band one Saturday I might have been hungover since I couldn't run away from the TV. A whole bunch of bubble gum girls tried out and Diddy hand picked 5 girls to make the band. I tried googling them and nothing. If anyone has any information regarding there wherabouts there will be reward of cookies in the form of bunnies. (Easter is coming)

Woman on Top

So I found out that I’m the only woman in the entire house. Besides my two male roommates there are two more that live on the first level. Needless to say I am the woman on top. So far I love it. I have heaps of space, my own 1/2 bath and an excellent view of the city. One of my roommates designs clothes as in wardrobes. He likes to save the earth as well but I’m far from making superhero capes. I think we will get along splendid. The other goes to school and works a lot. I’ve seen him once. They keep the dishes clean and the fridge free of mold. I will just have to work on organizing the kitchen a bit better.

The Weekend Update: New Carpet, Wall Carpet and Hair Carpet

When I think the dancing can't get worse it does. Charlotte was just dirty, Chicago was hootchie and West Bend, well it's interesting.

Here's the weekend update:

1. Saw the new version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Johnny Depp creeps me out.
2. Spent 3 hours pulling staples out of what will be my new green suede chair.
3. Sara and Jeff came from Milwaukee ( I don't know why) to West Bend.
4. Had a little dinner party which meat was not present. Tony did you stop at McDonalds on the way home?
5. Sara's goal of seeing a mullet was met 32 minutes upon arrival on bar premise.
6. Going to start actively campaigning sufflepuck as an Olympic sport.
7. Jeff would like to state for the record he is a redneck woman.
8. Watched some broad "pole dance" with a carpeted square pole. Nothing says sexy like carpet.
9. My 5 year drought of the WB George Web was brought to an end.
10. Right now I'm packing thinking of the wonderful life I will have with clean dishes and Pitches Bar.

FYI: Hair coming out of the top of a shirt is not sexy

Breathing

Thank you to those you prayed to the apartment gods - Gina has a found a place. A rather spacious place. And ever close place to Brady. Sara I know you really wanted to go to Pitches bar for you birthday, but can we go sooner? It's a half block away! So what was the first thing I noticed? A clean sink. Did you know that dishes belong in a cupboard and not in the sink! Amazing the difference! I will keep you up to date.

Getting my Revenge

I've decided to take revenge on the she-devils that currently reside in this supposedly free apartment. I've decided to actively use dishes and not wash them. Just now I ate some Indian food and drank some milk. Now just imagine in two weeks what that will smell like, some light sour vomit? Oh they are in for a treat. That container of chocolate cookie dough I was eating to soothe my pain the night before - yup that's still sitting there. That's right talk to the mold 'cause the plate ain't gettin' cleaned!

I wish I could light my roommates on fire

So over the past 11 months I've discovered my roommates are deadbeats only through letters and phone calls from the landlord requesting rent. Upon this 11th month I've decided to move the f**k out! Either I'm going back to West Bend or if you know anybody a level above deadbeat that has an extra bedroom let me know. I'm eatting a batch of chocolate cookie dough gone wrong to soothe the pain.

Poll: the eighties

Riding the bus today I saw a very troubling sight: a woman with some extravagent headgear.

If the eighties are coming back should I invest in some scrunchies?

yes or no?

The weekend update: Estrogen

A hormone produced by the ovaries and testes. It stimulates the development of secondary sexual characteristics and induces menstruation in women. Estrogen is important for the maintenance of normal brain function and development of nerve cells.

If Estrogen maintains normal brain function I didn't have enough martinis or environmental testosterone.
This weekend was rather good for me as I didn't overindulged in cocktails or men.

1. Buckhead had a party which we could see our table underneath glasses of pink vodka. I actually became irratated at men on the dance floor and maintain sobriety in order to kung fu fight their ass if they touched my hair one more time.
2. Got some digits.....from a girl : )
3. Met some fabulous ladies at Hotel Metro for martini night (Grandma this is the place we should go!)
4. Caught up with 3 lovely females over changing colored lights and chocolate martinis at the Vucherria.
5. Found out men cry too, right matt?
6. Shopped at a Japanese grocery store to find my new favorite indulgence. A green tea - twinkie cake.
7. The best way to eat sushi is with chopsticks, a glass of wine and two great girl friends.
8. Save a mechanical bull ride a cowboy! Watched my friend ride her heart out on a bull, not Scottie Pippen which would be her first choice. If you lost your copy of Coyote Ugly, you could go to Hogs and Hunneys in Lincoln Park to get your fix, thanks Scott for getting us in. I would had paid the cover at any other bar if I didn't have to wipe the drool from the men checking out girls in miniskirts who is most likely taking some kind of STD medication.
9. Finally won in chess! I think it was the giant size chess pieces at Andoyne that helped me out.
10. Finished watching the movie Ray for the first time and loved it. Absolutely amazing - if you haven't seen it rent it!

I miss football.

Reflection

My close friends and family know that I would rather not have March 18 on the calendar. On that day I forgot about the ordinary and go exploring. Last year I was in Sydney roaming around the city making believing I could build a raft to sail the ocean, this year I was letting the sense of taste and smell wrap around fermented grapes. Know if March 18 didn't happen four years ago I have no idea where I would be. I doubt I would have been in Australia when I was or tasting wines with a good friend. Life has much to do with the people you connect with. Each connection leads us to different places emotionally and physically. So thank you to all the people that have moved me. I hope I have at least moved one person closer happiness.

The extended weekend update: After Charlotte

After a 4 day weekend there has to be a list.

1.Thursday night headed to Buckhead with my girl friend from Appleton who will remain nameless but if you know her, you've probably received several phone calls from her around 2am. Oh yeah we started with $2 martinis.
2. After expending little cash over much gin we wanted to dance and of course the place to do that is JoCats.
3. I didn't know how many dances could be done on the floor of Jo Cats till I saw it in action.
4. It might be a good idea to leave credit cards at home, because once you start trying to pay with your driver's license or are found swiping the ATM machine with one you know it is time to go home. (cough cough)
5. Actually woke up with enough time to get on a plane to Charlotte, a St. Patty's day beer was out of the question
6. Arrived with the most beautiful weather. On the drive to our lovely hostess' house little white flowers blew like snow over the car.
7. Had dinner and drinks at a primo hangout of Nascar drivers. I learned that Charlotte was heavily populated by these race car drivers.
8. Some of the other people that hang out at this spot include bald men that suction cans of red bull to their head, boys with bozo like hair that wear jeans hanging off their rear and person in unknown superhero costume.
9. Saturday was brilliant. We drove through the country to 4 wineries tasting about 40+ wines
10. Childress winery was opened by some famous person associated with racing. My favorite was the wine whose description included "great for drinking on the porch" my least favorite was the wine served with "wild game"
11. Raylen winery had my favorite wine, a Yadkin Gold and my new favorite dessert. Chocolate covered Category 5 (a type of red wine).
12. Westbend winery had a sweet elderly gentlemen serving us more than the usual. I told the employees I grew up in West Bend, WI and they were astonished. They said they have received many phone calls concerning kitchen appliances.
13. RagApple winery was my least favorite or maybe I had already tried too many wines by this point.
14. Saturday night off to dinner at an adult arcade. Put me in front of the skee ball and I was set.
15. Went to a very classy establishment named BAR Charlotte. I forgot to pack my mini skirt and g-string so I didn't fit in.
16. Witnessed various activities which I felt I should have paid for via a porn video or strip club, these included pole dancing, pole dancing with sailors, bar dancing with short skirts, riding the giant swing above the bar, bull riding where butt checks were shaking and too many pink g-strings.
17. For amusement purposes of my group I decided to dance with a Mr. Preppie Blue Shirt. He had this dance move which I named a cross between riding a horse and working on the elliptical at a 45 degree angle. I thought of my Grandma's advice and decided not to go home with the talented boy.
18. After a long restful sleep the girls got our shopping on.
19. Had a relaxing dinner party with there were true southern accents, adorable babies and good food.
20. I can't believe it's Monday and that I've finished my box of chocolate covered wine!

I can't date my drug dealers anymore

My grandma on my mom's side who I love so dearly for her sensibility wrote me a letter with some words of advice to my sister and I.

"I pray that you girls can meet up with someone of interest that can turn your life around and make yous happy. You are going to have to get into things of interest to meet up with guys, but not bars & drinking & drugs. There must be places you can join and I always say church, but you don't believe.

From the letter you can see my sister (Danielle) are very unhappy and all we do is drown ourselves in toxins. So for all you that want us to quit with the needles and join the nunnery it will be a long run but if there is a God at the end of the tunnel it might be worth it. He will be my new man.

p.s. Sorry to hear you losing your purse. I lost a nice new swimming cap"

Boy Scout Services for Sale

Upon consuming half a box of girl scout cookies in less than a day I've decided that boy scouts should offer something to the vast population of the United States. They could go door to door with premaid checklists of activities for the same price as a box of girl scout cookies. So America ( minus boy perverts) we have a young lad ready to do some chores. Here's a list, feel free to add on.

1. Taking out the garbage, sanatizing the cans with scent of choice (boys will be equipped)
2. Cleaning the garage, waxing the car, changing your car's oil
3. Washing the windows, there should be birds trying to fly in soon after (boys will be able to care for bird after contact)
4. Scrubbing the floor, wood floors should smell like the redwood forest, ceramic should be spotless without the elderly falling
5. Organize your dvd, cd, vhs collection. Please remove your porn before scout comes
6. Full clean out of the fridge, do the grocery shopping and make a nice dinner
7. Feeding of your dog Toto, take it for a walk, wash and dry
8. Teaching you how to work all the appliances you don't know how to use, like the cappacino machine that is sitting in a cabinent.
9. Shinning all your shoes and optimizing them for most comfort
10. Doing of taxes with the most refund back