Fortune Cookie

"It's amazing how much good you can do if you don't care who gets the credit"

The Weekend Update: Running on empty

I need another weekend to do my usual things like watch the next James Bond movie while drinking a pot of coffee, make Saturday hash browns, peruse ebay for new dress, watch a pointless Sunday made for TV movie, clip coupons, watch Grey Anatomy reruns, etc.


1. After work I went straight home and worked some more
2. Decided to put on some clothes and head over to the Doctor’s office for a benefit concert.
3. Watched a woman who could be considered a brick house and all her “seductive” dance moves. She was built like the lyrics she thought they were saying which happens to be not a lit a square, square face, square body, low blank tank top which I was very afraid her two saggy friends would knock over someone’s beer. Her dance moves included the hand on butt wiggle, the two-handed crotch and pivot grab, the grind on the speaker while showing off arm flab.
4. Went home and worked, woke up and worked some more.
5. Packed up the car and headed up to Appleton for a girls weekend.
6. Found out a few things about my friends, one is a huge, huge, huge rolling stones fan and started signing “I can’t get no satisfaction” but throughout the song she was replacing the real lyrics with tle off, but very off. We found out she does this for most songs. Another has a start-up pharmacy in her bathroom. The most sincere and nice friend has a mean edge when it comes to spoons. There wasn’t any blood but there could have been.
7. Had an overall good night and morning with my closest friends. They do something to the soul that roots your being and creates a bind of respect. Thank you ladies.
8. Headed back home to do more work
9. Headed over to a man-filled house where we drafted our fantasy football teams. Watch out boys! Who won last year – that’s right – I did!
10. Worked some more and finally crashed without watching Desperate Housewives.

8:15am pick-up line

While walking across the street from work, into walgreens I got thrown the line, "Hey sexy, where you going?" You were hoping I was going to drop getting my midol and play hooky to hang out with you? Would we frolic in the streets of downtown milwaukee and get a room at the Ho-Jo? I'll still have a killer cramp and an even bigger pms attitude but, hey you said I was sexy at 8:15 when I wanted to puke on your shoe.

Weekend Update: Change of Plans

As my entire weekend shifted around it ended up being very relaxing.

1. Went fishing on Silver Lake, which there was only one catchable fish.
2. Delighted in the bF cooking dinner for the second day in a row!
3. Hung out in the Children's section of the library
4. Filled my morning reading children's books at our backyard rummage sale.
5. Had a birthday dinner for Grandma's "special friend" in Oconomowoc.
6. She learned that you can now tip the waitress on the credit card slip rather than paying cash.
7. Picked up my gambling girlfriend and entered potowatomi for the first time ever.
8. After getting over my nervousness, I sat down at BlackJack table won and lost about $30 so I broke even.
9. Convinced my roomie that he should not bring his nasty chairs back up into the house and put them on the corner instead.
(You don't need 4 recliners in one room)
10. Went to bed with a cold mojito and an episode of House

Honey

Why does honey come in plastic bear containers rather than plastic bees?

I have a dress problem

I found out this weekend that I love dresses. Growing up I had to squeeze into the most ridiculous dresses for Sunday church. Sometimes I would have a matching dress with my sister, or even mom. Sometimes they had too many buttons or ties to undo so you could never make it to the bathroom without doing the potty dance. But after shopping at Marshal Fields and running my hand over all it's silky-ness, I found my home. There, in the middle of the forest of spring gowns, I fell in love with the most beautiful dress. Upon turning the price tag over I knew I had really good taste. I splurged, once, on a pair of Italian shoes. But spending over $200 on a dress that isn't white wasn't going to happen. Sooot I stumbled across my friend Ebay and what do you know he has my dress - he has lots of beautiful dresses. I have no idea what I would wear them all to but I love them in all their colors and lengths, and silkyness-es. Happy Bidding to me!

Nice and Mean People

I'm sitting at Panera Bread right now because they have wireless internet. There are a few outlets so usually when I come I sit in the back and put two small tables together. Just recently man a man that resembles an older fatter Nic Nolte carrying some sort of clear cleaner fluid and a dilapidated briefcase proceeded to move my smoothie across my setup and pulled the other table away! I can point out about 20 other spots in this place he could sit but what does he do? Take my table and put it together with another table on his left and points that the light had to be directly above him. Now he wants my table pushed farther to the wall! This dude doesn't understand that when I have to use my mouse my right elbow will scrape the wall. People are strange. He doesn't own the joint. Why should he be able to have two tables dedicated to poison fluid and bank deposit slips and I can't have two for my 15" laptop and smoothie! WHY!

On a lighter note, a woman at New York and Co. slid me a coupon for $30 off my purchase. There are good people here.

The Weekend Update: Going to the Chapel

Part I: Dad & Terri’s Wedding
1. The day started smoothly - got my nails done, hair-did, make up set. While lounging around eating my only breakfast/lunch banana strawberry yogurt drama in the bathroom erupted. No bobby pins. So I dropped my yogurt raced to Walmart ( hair up, make up done) screamed at the women in blue to point me to the bobby pin aisle. I made it round trip in 12 minutes.
2. Felt real pretty once getting my dress on.
3. Watched Dad and Terri get married outside on Pier Wisconsin, besides the man from the boat yelling "Don’t do it!" it was very nice.
4. Slammed 3 glasses of bubbly thus beginning the open-open-wide-open bar.
5. I now have a few prospects to enter in the reality show, "So you think you can dance?"
6. Was reassured that my bF was not only hot - but "fucking hot".
7. Did you know you don’t get a special prize after signing the marriage license as a witness?
8. The only danced I dance with a boy was my new younger brother. Well half of it because his friend called my friend loose and we had to depart immediately.
9. Went to Hi Hat - I miss the open bar.
10. Saturday morning: My whole body aches. Walking ½ mile to the knick for breakfast took me a half hour.


Part II: Fritz and Danielle’s Wedding
1. Recovered from Friday’s hangover exactly when fresh beer slid down the throat.
2. Found some old college classmates who thought I was married. HA!
3. It’s always a good time when Chris breaks out the couch dance. (This time it’s not a crappy couch in someone’s house but a lone couch with nothing but dance floor).
4. After the reception, proceed downtown to which we got lost and went into a gay bar.
5. So after everyone freaked out and left. I still had my beer and decided to make the most of it.
A. First, they play really great music.
B. Second, there are no guys to hit on me - which is a good thing
c. Third, at a gay bar girls will hit on you instead.
6. Found the bar we were supposed to be at which we took over the gigantic suffle-puck board.
7. Had an after-bar back in our hotel room.
A. Woke up more than enough people to join us.
b. My male friends are nuts and gay and I never want to see three grown men in a bath together again. Or two for that matter.
8. Woke up to a pretzel covered floor. Seriously.
9. Rounded up who ever was awake at noon to get some greasy breakfast.
10. It’s very strange to see two people whom I knew each before they met. Congrats!
Part:III: Recovery
Monday morning I was wedding out, sober and ready to do it all over again.

Russian cigarettes

Did you know that in Russia cigarettes only cost 40cents a pack? And in order to smoke it you twist the filter 90 degress and light up. Cool eh?

The way late weekend update

Ok so I’m dragging on this update post. Either I’m lazy or I just got employed full time.

1. Got hired full time – I never knew how so many hours really cut into my oprah and ice cream eating time.
2. Decided Milwaukee was just too posh for us and headed out to Oconomowoc to Coconut Joe’s. I’m really upset about missing the booty shaking contest.
3. Spent 5 hours hunting for a sundress in stores that had their fall clothing line out. It’s fucking 98 outside!
4. Is it possible to sweat right after you get out of the shower? Yeah.
5. Got to see a quaint little new house occupied by some lovely friends.
6. Met another martini drinking grandma.
7. Saw the best and biggest fireworks so far at Port Washington Fish Days.
8. Walked down to Silver Lake, jumped in, walked back up.
9. Babysat a one day old Pit Bull. He was so adorable!
10. Was very glad that for the first time the four squares (friends, family, job, love) of my life were at a peak.

The Weekend Update: Pushing through the liquid

1. Ate for the first time at the Milwaukee Public Market – It was delightful!
2. Went to Summerfest to watch my co-workers band. The best part about it was my co-worker’s daughter shakin’ her bad ass with corn on the cob in each hand.
3. During my interrupted Gina-Time on Friday I discovered my roommate had thought way into the future about the girl who stood him up. She stood him up because she is carring someone’s elses baby. My roommate decided if they were to seriously date she would have to have an abortion or give it up for adoption! This would be their third date in 2 months. His already on date number 4 with this other woman who has a 5 year old kid. Who’s your Momma!
4. Woke up to a 6:06 am text message asking me to do my dishes from the baby daddy roomie. Yup in order to get some action dishes need to be done first, nevermind he is 29 and sleeps on a futon. So I did my dishes and then made hashbrowns and steam swiss chard, using various dishes for each that wouldn’t get washed until (yikes) Sunday.
5. Started at Lakefront Brewery to kick off the “BIG BIRTHDAY EXTRAVAGANA” We packed the beer cruise boat (minus 6 seats)
6. Had a stalker/paparazzi fan who wouldn’t stop taking pictures of me and wouldn’t ask my name until the 3 and final bar. I was wearing a tube top so any pictures looks like I forgot to put on clothes.


7. The troops were rounded and we had a 30 person dinner at Brew City. (They know how to do drinks, not food.)
8. Walked over to the Harp where we came in contact with “Bridzilla”. This means Amazon woman on her bachelorette party who may or may not know she has a mustache.
9. Headed to Sarah’s house where Sara explained the tactics of sex, oh and horoscopes. Thank you.
10. Hey Ryan and Sara, where’s the gingerbread men?
11. Walked over to the patio at Halliday’s where everyone got even slightly more intoxicated.
12. Stumbled over to Jo Cats where we did some sweaty dancing. It was hot, very hot.
13. Got pulled aside by Jeff telling me “You better be nice to this one (my guy) I like him”.
14. Woke up with a minor headache. Then went back to bed.
15. Sunday was bloody hot, passing out in front of my air conditioner was a very good idea.



16. Walked down to summerfest and on my way down a small rain cloud started chasing me. Yup exactly like in the cartoons.
17. Jeff met me at summerfest, in the pouring rain, and hail and in the women’s restroom.
18. After the storm passed and the crowd had thinned out summerfest was up and running.
19. Had my best time at the fest. Saw 6 bands which included a makeshift gospel choir, Pat McCurdy, the Boogiemen, the LoveMonkeys, Agualung and Buckwheat Zygot. Front row for Aqualung!
20. Happy Birthday Sara, Sarah and Becca!

The Independent Weekend Update

It’s been a long weekend (plus a workday)

1. Couldn’t sleep so stayed up working, painting the trim of my place and watching my favorite late night tv show – Elimidate!
2. Almost blew away in the Saturday wind while walking the lakefront
3. Toured a beautiful Pier Wisconsin – Discovery World
4. Traded a homemade dinner for designing a Ryan Cabrera flyer
5. Finally saw my man after 5 days without! I don’t know if I’ll be able to take a vacation sans man.
6. If you watch the movie “The Squid and The Whale” take a sedative.
7. Saw the new fashion trend in Racine, men in short cut off shorts, brown belt, black shirt, white socks and cell phone holster. I couldn’t stop drooling.
8. Bought a shit-ton of fireworks!
9. Bought the most fattening food ever. Nope not McDonalds, it’s Harry and Davids Mozzeralla dip. (12grams of fat per 1 tablespoons). In a week I will have gained 297g
10. Light off the shit-top of fireworks in West Bend. Dad offered Terry the grill cover for a “just in case the fireworks come your way” shield.
11. Found out a river in West Bend I thought for 24 years was NOT the Milwaukee river.
12. Contrary to popular belief I am 24. In a little less than 6 more months I will be 25.
13. Went to work on Monday!
14. My friends decided to stalk me in to finally meet my man. Nice going, where’d you buy the back masks.
15. Accidentally met the man’s friends right before the big bang. Vaseline was involved – is that weird?
16. Missed some quality entertainment by one of my favorite friends. Three stories – that’s some good distance.
17. Judged a beauty contest for the WB duck derby.
18. Made a dinner I haven’t had in almost 10 years. Yup ring baloney stir fry!
19. Ended up at the Franklin Fair to watch the fourth fireworks.
20. New month = new pie of the month at Baker’s Square.

Umbrella Anyone?

I think I'm going to start drinking daiquiris at work. I'm working overtime w/ no sight of seeing the payoff. I'll put the blender next to my phone that way I can't hear it ring. The rum will sit next to my pen/pencil holder because if I have to write something I'll just take a pull and forget about it. I'll have the guy in the stand downstairs bring me fresh fruit everyday - will call that mail delivery. Ice will get tricky - my co-worker has a small fridge and he might become suspicious. Will have to coincide bathroom breaks will ice cube smuggling. Now if someone could bring me one of those small umbrellas.....

Pinwheels

This may come as a strange request but I'm working on a project that uses pinwheels. If anyone has any photos running with pinwheells, blowing pinwheels, garden pinwheels, etc... send them my way!!!!

The Weekend Update: Should come with a Warning

Some things should come with a warning label.

1. Our waitress at Mama Mia's should leave her botox needle and shimmery lipgloss behind.
2. Love songs from 1983 should not be allowed in clubs.
3. Tequila may cause drowsiness at the County Claire
4. Working on the weekends is not fun and makes one stay sober.
5. Men get PMS too.
6. Black lingerie, furry lingerie, pink lingerie on someone other than me or a mannequin is scary
7. When older women get drunk the world is at their fingertips.
8. Getting my nails and toes done may be addictive.
9. Painting with a combination of alcohol will create chaos and a little less painting.
10. Remember when you share pie to always steal the larger piece.

What do you think?

Question: If one doesn't fancy their job, at what point does one take the risk and change what their doing?

Johnson Bus night @ the Brewer Game

Check out these two Brewer hotties!

The Weekend Update: Vacation

After a stressful week of work I went on a weekend vacation with the boyfriend.

1. Danced around the office with a large scale cutout of a panther cartoon character designed by me!
2. Headed up to Shawano. Grandma said "She would be on her best behavior" when meeting my man - and she was.
3. Learned that there are some crystal skulls floating around latin america that supposedly hold a bunch of information in. Like a computer. If I come across one I'll plug my firewire cable in and see what happens.
4. Woke up early and headed to Door County.
5. Toured Door Peninsula Winery where the samples where endless. Toured Orchard Winery where the pours where too small. Toured Stone Creek Winery where I was in desperate need of a nap.
6. Went to one of those "Small Town Art Fairs" where it should be titled - "Stuff for your dog, swimsuits for your Aunt still in the 80's and things to put under your glass.
7. Had a stellar dinner followed by Door Peninsula Blackberry Wine on the porch of our hotel. I may have walked into the screen door
8. Found another good winery - Von Stiel in Algoma. There pours started with a half glass for tasting. How could you not love this place. Plus they make the wine covered chocolates! Carrie make note!
9. Sadly headed back to Milwaukee, but was delighted that I was able to spend the entire with weekend with a man I adore.
10. Watched Old Boy - a Korean flick - very disturbing which left me perturbed for a couple hours.

Sweat

Is it possible to sweat from all your body parts? Because right now I can see 4lbs sliding down to my toes.

The Weekend Update: Still Full

1. Started off with a fab fondue party. I may have spiked some of the pots, especially the chocolate one.
2. Cruised over to Flannerys for more unnecessary drinks
3. Expanded our booth dancing over to the Jo Cats floor.
4. Yup, haven'’t woken up with a hangover since the Seattle incident
5. Watched a movie I thought I wouldnÂ’t like and ended up crying like a school girl
6. Cozied up at Cozi
7. Had to prep the guy to meet Grandma, step one: Learn how to play dominoes
8. New that I would not be stunned by the movie the Breakup
9. Found the girls that I've been searching for - P. Diddy's making the band group of girls is coming back on TV. Brace yourself!
10. Finally got pie of the month at Baker's Square. This month is key lime yummy

Day in Chicago

I distinctly remember that the last time I went downtown Chicago seeing a poster for a band named "G-Unit" Huh, I thought to myself someone just nicknamed me G-Unit and said it with emphasis on the G-U. I told my sister this was a surprising coincidence. After she laughed at me, she explained this was no pet name this person had made up for me, he was just calling me the group's name. So that was about 2 years ago.

So I was down on Thursday for work. I was really great. I learned how to take the Metra train to which I met the only person in the U.S. who understands how great the BBC show "Coupling" is. I also found Millennium Park to which I was very much in awe. I feel foolish for not getting down there sooner.

The Weekend Update: Margarittavile

Starting and ending with bad and good pitchers.

1. Headed off to watch the Brewers lose. However it wasn't so bad as long as you have a super-rope in one hand and a man's hand in the other.
2. Painted my apartment a lemony-lime color. It's so happy!
3. Carrie and I were watching our figure so it was vodka all the way!
4. Learned that I obviously don't know the lyrics to Grease 2.
5. Loved my friends for their goofiness, sensitivity and compassion.
6. Became mildly upset at one of my favorite brunch places, Jean Pierre. Eggs do not take 50 min to make.
7. Three pitchers of margaritas will
- ignited a calabrese and sicilian feud between two "special" friends of my dad and myself.
- bring out the mob
- cause ear loss if you're sitting next to woman who can whistle
- plan a wedding
- spur a really great time, next time danielle has to bring someone.
8. Hit the softball cage for the first time ever ( Yes this was right after the margaritas and I did amazing!)
9. Opened up to the idea of being open, for anything.
10. Baked chocolate chip cookies.

I heart Jazz

Opening day of Jazz of the Park ended two hours ago. It was brilliant. I am finishing my bottle of wine right now : ) . Three things of interest occurred.
1. Melinda from the Real World walked past. She, fortunately, is much prettier in real life than the Real World.
2. A woman scratched and jiggled her butt at the same time. And good lord it wasn't a white woman's ass 'cause those things don't jiggle unless you're stripping to Van Halen at the Airport Lounge.
3. An elderly gentleman, about 67, braved Jazz in the Park alone. He brought a bottle of red wine, some Pasta from MetroMart and a paper grocery bag. Upon people watching, I turned my head back to this man as he was pulling a grilled chicken breast from the bag. He took it in his hands like a sandwich and started to chow down. Three bites in he put it back in the bag. 30 minutes later and the routine would start again. Where was the bread, lettuce and tomato?

The Weekend Update: Memorial Day

0.5 Most of my Saturday night friends in the "best" pose.

I just love 3 day weekends!

1. The weekend is best started with an after work cocktail with a good friend at Holligans.
2. If you like shoes or drag queens I'd recommend seeing the movie Kinky boots.
3. Saturday night a couple of my friends learned some good lessons.
a. Vension meat is actually deer meat.
b. The word dump is only used in special cases. "I took a dump on the ice" is not one of them.
4. Little girls need to be taught about strangers, not jump on their lap and hug them.
5. The stigma of Jo Cats wears off if you're sober.
6. Burn baby Burn, and that's what I did Sunday morning.
7. Brought the (cough) (ahem) boyfriend home to meet the family.
8. If only we had some missing teeth we could have been a hick family.
a. made chicken on a beer can (again)
b. made pie on the grill
c. watch people tube off pontoon boats
d. watch children drive their cars into parked cars.
9. Ate at Coldstone Creamery for the first time ever. I ordered a mint and banana and the guy behind the counter said I was wierd.
10. Closed the long weekend walking alongside Lake Michigan.

Dear Grandma

Dear Grandma Rose,

I hope you're having an excellent Memorial Day weekend. You're probably up north and won't be checking this till Tuesday, but I just wanted to let you know I had my first, second martini. It was fantastic. I thought of you when I ordered it. I wasn't even on planing on having a cocktail because it wasn't even 5 o'clock yet. A work meeting landed us inside an pub and when that waitress came around the words "ice water" couldn't come out of my mouth, instead "dry martini" filled it's spot. How wierd is that? However I do have a question for you - the waitress but a lemon instead of a green olive in the glass, is this normal? Well thanks for introducing me to martini I think we'll get along just fine.

gina

The Weekend Update: HAPPY

1. Meet Jeff out for a 3 drink maximum night. Started at Hooligans, OG’s for curly fries and the fabulous Axels for darts.
2. John, if you’re reading this, I hope you are having a great time in Seattle, but BLOODY tell us you’re moving!
3. Drank beer, oh yeah and went on the Miller tour with a couple crazy friends.
4. Saw that my roommate was in much need of some Man Scaping.
5. If anyone hasn’t tried chicken cooked on a beer can, they should make it there Half Year Resolution.
6. Had a fantastic brunch at the Country Club (Grandma did not have a martini, I repeat did not)
7. Sound on the tallest point of Waukesha County where I could see Holy Hill, absolutely incredible
8. Skipped around the woods and swung on some tree (without getting hurt)
9. Found a new favorite toy, an electric stapler, although it’s best held by a handsome lad.
10. Went back to the County Claire for a new favorite beverage, the Irish Diesel.

My Chair!

Before and After

Here's what I've been working on for the past couple weeks. The photo doesn't do it justice so if anyone wants to come over and sit in the beauty they are more than welcome. Must bring wine.

Rooster Burger

I was curious as to why we don’t eat roosters. They look like a chicken, but how often to we grill up a rooster or have breaded rooster or Kentucky fried rooster? Never. So I did a little research on to see if the male version of a hen is edible:
“Rooster meat is by far tougher than hen's meat, but it is edible. It's the hormones in the meat that makes the difference. Just like with beef, for instance. A yearling steer (Castrated male, castrated while young) makes the best beef available. Cow meat isn't nearly as nice, and is often sold as 'budget' beef. It's still fairly edible, but has a little different flavour and is a little tougher, because of the estrogen that goes through their system. And bull meat is quite tough and stringy, and has a very stong flavour to it, because of the testosterone in it. “

Anyone up for a Rooster Burger?

The Weekend Update: Grandma Day

I ended the weekend completing one of my new year’s resolutions. Can you guess which one?

1. Caught up with William Zabka at the Ynot II.
2. Broke down after 6 months and had a piece of meat (summer sausage) and it was good.
3. Finished upholstering my chair!
4. Took my mom’s mom and her special friend out to dinner.
5. Didn’t win the conversation that grandma’s countertops have always had a pattern in them and there was no way windex got in them.
6. Was told by a two year old that I was scared of dogs.
7. If you ask a small child what her favorite dog does, there’s a good chance she’ll lick the side of your face.
8. Drank my first martini with my dad’s mom. The first sips were sketchy but after that it was a smooth ride and I understand why she walks down the beach with them.
9. After a weekend of not parting I brought a bottle of Cedarburg wine to Sara’s house and we didn’t stop till it was finished. There was food and Sunday evening programming on as well.
10. Realized the little things make all the difference.

Optomism in the Rain

Right now, in Milwaukee, it is pouring rain. I've decided to stay home from work and get some personal work down. Oddly I can't be more happy right now. Maybe it's because I haven't taken a personal day in about a year. Or it was the double chocolate-chocolate cake from last night that Big Mike at Baker's Square recommended. My Key lime pie failed when I was about to "woo" my handsome host Or it's the phone call for my next work opportunity. Or it was the 20lb lobster in the tank at William Ho's. Or maybe it is one of those times where everything in flows together. And the best part after the rain is that things will start to grow even more, even my chocolate appetite.

Where's the Beef?

So before hitting Euro bar for a birthday party my roomie and I stopped at the grocery store. I was beginning to think I was nuts and just forgetting to buy bread. Turns out my roomie has been scarfing down my whole wheat. And I owed him lime juice so off to the markets we went!
Processed cow in a can anyone?
Three loafs should do it!

The Weekend Update: Can't help but smile

My best senior picture pose.

The girls at the Eastsider

Another great weekend where everything was unplanned

1. If you go out with 3 other hot women you're bound to attract attention, get shots and get picked up by the Eastside bartender.
2. Laughed, danced and took our best pictures at Flannery's.
3. Got exceptionaly far on my chair I'm upholstering.
4. Learned never to use box die, although everyone loves gina in darker hair.
5. Saw my soon to be niece work a room of adults, she had us in tears, almost pissing ourselves with her comedy.
6. Learned the the jack-fruit is grown in tropical climates and can get up to 200 pounds. Yes I had the Jacked-Up salad at the forty8.
7. Played glow-in-the-dark frisbee in the Whitnall park gardens.
8. On the way back to Shorewood a long stem red rose ended up in my hand by an astonishing gentleman.
9. Walked by a house where the owner placed fake flowers in her yard. I chuckeled.
10. It's Sunday night and I still can't help but smile.

Place the food item in the food group

I started the vegetable/fruit inquiry by looking up cucumber in the dictionary. Turns out this long beloved vegetable is actually a fruit. So I brought this conversation up with someone and have been deliberating on what group the PEA fits into. Thoughts?

The Late Weekend Update

This weekend was so fun that I completely missed my monday post!

1. Met the girls for martinis at Hotel Metro
2. Dance and sang and watched Sara proceed from normal to bubbly at Lucilles (Happy B-day Jon!)
3. Showed my face in Jo Catz since the magical driver lisence night.
4. The only pick up line I got was from Sara, "If I said you had a great body would you hold it against me?" She grabbed me anyway.
5. My perfectionistic side got the best of me in my upholstery class
6. Cooked a fabolous dinner for a male. No, this one isn't my drug dealer
7. Partied out in Bayview, where I found Hayward Williams, he did the best cover of a Springsteen song to date!
8. Closed down LuLu's and had my first organic wine.
9. Had to have an intervention with me and Springsteen's new album.
10. Saw "Thank you for Smoking" and got a surprise when a flood of popcorn ended up on my lap.

turning Folk

Bruce Springsteen new album, We Shall Overcome, the Seeger Sessions, was released on Tuesday. I haven't stopped listening to it. While it is clear break from his classic rock it still is Bruce. Simple ballads songs are decorated with violins, trumpets, a tuba, a trombone, a banjo and even an accordion. There's a rooted serenity in how these songs are played. Removed from the sudio and recording in a country house comes out in the innocence of the song. If I could roll up my jeans and stomp in the mud I would, oh wait, I can!

The MAN candle

There's a man candle in the dining room. It suprisingly doesn't smell like girl or bakery. It smells like thick musty blueberries. So kudos to the candle factory for appealing to the male species.

Gina makes an arse out of herself

So yesterday I had a nice social activity with a handsome lad. We went to the driving range and then decided to stop at a burger joint. When the woman rings up the total I say, "I got it because you brought the balls." Pause. Pause. Pause. Yeah some people tell me I have a way with words.

The Weekend Update: Everyone’s getting old

1. Threw Dad a surprise birthday party although my Dad is a smart man and has his way of finding out about things.
2. The guy who made me wet myself when I was a kid brought tears to my eyes.
3. I haven’t accomplished one of my new years resolutions: Acquire a taste for martinis. This would have been the perfect time as Grandma was sipping them delightfully.
4. I really like upholstering
5. Discovered Bayview and had a fabulous birthday dinner for one of my many lovely friends.
6. I think my friend should start a car dancing sport.
7. Thrift shopping is best when you locate a shop in the wealthiest neighborhoods.
8. My hope to have a rockstar evening on Saturday turned into a Jazz affair on Sunday.
9. Working very hard the week before makes the weekend so much easier.
10. The week is best started with a walk to work with Jeff.

Beer for Breakfast

As usual, on my walks to work I usually notice something out of the ordinary. This morning I was crossing a street near the MSOE campus when this guy (a rugged 50 but slim) was riding his yellow bicycle. When I bring a lunch to work I usually throw it in a plastic bag and wrap it around my bike handles. This is because my bag is full of work shoes, a coffee thermos, a calendar and other misc items. It is quite hard to do this and I give credit to this man for riding with this plastic bag that could at any time jab into the front tire causing a scenario. Today, though, I could see the contents inside this plastic bag - three shinny cans of ICEHOUSE. It was 8:26 dude in the am. Here is what I'm thinking.

A. His wife left him and was grabbing the beer before she hit the road and a meesly 3 was all he could manage to save.
B. He found a way to drink during the workday at which I will have to find him to take lessons.
C. He was too drunk this morning to distinguish the coke cans from the beer cans.
D. He is on a new diet. Breakfast: beer, Lunch: beer, Snack: beer.
E. He works third shift and is headed for his after work drink since bars are not open.
F. He is just having a really bad morning.

The Weekend Update: Bear Right

If you would like to make a slight turn in Northern Wisconsin and Minnesota you would "bear right" instead of taking a slight right. This an other new learnings below.

1. Driving up to Mall of America takes way to long
2. Bridesmaid dresses can be found in a color and style that the whole bridal party is happy with - at the first store.
3. Customer service is horrible. Register Lady: The strapeless one comes with strapes or Would you like to try a size eight in a blue? ME: I'm not a size eight and we are not wearing blue.
4. Danielle will get served a water alongside a cocktail just because the waitress mistakes comedy for drunkeness
5. June Bugs does a body good.
6. Some men like to be rated in order of boyfriend potential.
7. UPF = Upper Pussy Fat (This woman looked like she was carry a cow's uterus below her belly button)
8. Speeding because I can't stand sitting will cause the State Trooper (female) to pull me over.
9. Teaching a 2 1/2 year old to blow bubbles is adorable.
10. Pepto must follow easter candy eatting.

The morning girl in kitchen scenario

This morning I went down to the kitchen to fill my thermos up with coffee and there was a girl there. Hmmm. And then she sat down in the living room and didn't say anything. One of my roomie's has a girlfriend so I called out, "Hey are you so and so's girlfriend?" Which she responded, " I'm his ex-girlfriend." I know he wouldn't cheat on his current girl due to our first gossip conversation about how mad he was at his mate for breaking one of the commandments. So if this girl was current girlfriend turned ex why was she still in the vacinity when he wasn't present?

The Weekend Update: The Warm front is moving up

So while most of my girlfriends left me for Vegas and Minnesota and my guy friends left me for an ex-boyfriends wedding I spent the weekend twidling my thumbs, yeah not really.

1. Thought I was going to a formal dinner party until the wedding veil, feather boa and whip came out.
2. Made it to Turner Hall for dinner and didn't get sick. Last time I had the fish fry I puked on the sidewalk an hour later.
3. Went to this great German beer House where the girls wore tight bossom dresses and some men wore leprachan shorts.
4. Threw a temper-tantrum in my upholstery class
5. Set up my new pad so it feels more like home.
6. Headed to North Ave only to retire from ever playing darts again, well unless I get a handicap of 51 points.
7. Capital Brewery has a new beer which is absolutely fantastic.
8. Added onto my New Years Resolution: Learn how to make pancakes
9. Watch my high school crush, Vince Carter, play and beat the Bucks.
10. Embraced this new weather called the sixties!

Do Wa Diddy Diddy Dum Diddy DO

Does anyone know what happened to Puffy Daddy aka Sean Combs aka Diddy aka P Diddy's band? I got sucked into a MTV marathon of making the band one Saturday I might have been hungover since I couldn't run away from the TV. A whole bunch of bubble gum girls tried out and Diddy hand picked 5 girls to make the band. I tried googling them and nothing. If anyone has any information regarding there wherabouts there will be reward of cookies in the form of bunnies. (Easter is coming)

Woman on Top

So I found out that I’m the only woman in the entire house. Besides my two male roommates there are two more that live on the first level. Needless to say I am the woman on top. So far I love it. I have heaps of space, my own 1/2 bath and an excellent view of the city. One of my roommates designs clothes as in wardrobes. He likes to save the earth as well but I’m far from making superhero capes. I think we will get along splendid. The other goes to school and works a lot. I’ve seen him once. They keep the dishes clean and the fridge free of mold. I will just have to work on organizing the kitchen a bit better.

The Weekend Update: New Carpet, Wall Carpet and Hair Carpet

When I think the dancing can't get worse it does. Charlotte was just dirty, Chicago was hootchie and West Bend, well it's interesting.

Here's the weekend update:

1. Saw the new version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Johnny Depp creeps me out.
2. Spent 3 hours pulling staples out of what will be my new green suede chair.
3. Sara and Jeff came from Milwaukee ( I don't know why) to West Bend.
4. Had a little dinner party which meat was not present. Tony did you stop at McDonalds on the way home?
5. Sara's goal of seeing a mullet was met 32 minutes upon arrival on bar premise.
6. Going to start actively campaigning sufflepuck as an Olympic sport.
7. Jeff would like to state for the record he is a redneck woman.
8. Watched some broad "pole dance" with a carpeted square pole. Nothing says sexy like carpet.
9. My 5 year drought of the WB George Web was brought to an end.
10. Right now I'm packing thinking of the wonderful life I will have with clean dishes and Pitches Bar.

FYI: Hair coming out of the top of a shirt is not sexy

Breathing

Thank you to those you prayed to the apartment gods - Gina has a found a place. A rather spacious place. And ever close place to Brady. Sara I know you really wanted to go to Pitches bar for you birthday, but can we go sooner? It's a half block away! So what was the first thing I noticed? A clean sink. Did you know that dishes belong in a cupboard and not in the sink! Amazing the difference! I will keep you up to date.

Getting my Revenge

I've decided to take revenge on the she-devils that currently reside in this supposedly free apartment. I've decided to actively use dishes and not wash them. Just now I ate some Indian food and drank some milk. Now just imagine in two weeks what that will smell like, some light sour vomit? Oh they are in for a treat. That container of chocolate cookie dough I was eating to soothe my pain the night before - yup that's still sitting there. That's right talk to the mold 'cause the plate ain't gettin' cleaned!

I wish I could light my roommates on fire

So over the past 11 months I've discovered my roommates are deadbeats only through letters and phone calls from the landlord requesting rent. Upon this 11th month I've decided to move the f**k out! Either I'm going back to West Bend or if you know anybody a level above deadbeat that has an extra bedroom let me know. I'm eatting a batch of chocolate cookie dough gone wrong to soothe the pain.

Poll: the eighties

Riding the bus today I saw a very troubling sight: a woman with some extravagent headgear.

If the eighties are coming back should I invest in some scrunchies?

yes or no?

The weekend update: Estrogen

A hormone produced by the ovaries and testes. It stimulates the development of secondary sexual characteristics and induces menstruation in women. Estrogen is important for the maintenance of normal brain function and development of nerve cells.

If Estrogen maintains normal brain function I didn't have enough martinis or environmental testosterone.
This weekend was rather good for me as I didn't overindulged in cocktails or men.

1. Buckhead had a party which we could see our table underneath glasses of pink vodka. I actually became irratated at men on the dance floor and maintain sobriety in order to kung fu fight their ass if they touched my hair one more time.
2. Got some digits.....from a girl : )
3. Met some fabulous ladies at Hotel Metro for martini night (Grandma this is the place we should go!)
4. Caught up with 3 lovely females over changing colored lights and chocolate martinis at the Vucherria.
5. Found out men cry too, right matt?
6. Shopped at a Japanese grocery store to find my new favorite indulgence. A green tea - twinkie cake.
7. The best way to eat sushi is with chopsticks, a glass of wine and two great girl friends.
8. Save a mechanical bull ride a cowboy! Watched my friend ride her heart out on a bull, not Scottie Pippen which would be her first choice. If you lost your copy of Coyote Ugly, you could go to Hogs and Hunneys in Lincoln Park to get your fix, thanks Scott for getting us in. I would had paid the cover at any other bar if I didn't have to wipe the drool from the men checking out girls in miniskirts who is most likely taking some kind of STD medication.
9. Finally won in chess! I think it was the giant size chess pieces at Andoyne that helped me out.
10. Finished watching the movie Ray for the first time and loved it. Absolutely amazing - if you haven't seen it rent it!

I miss football.

Reflection

My close friends and family know that I would rather not have March 18 on the calendar. On that day I forgot about the ordinary and go exploring. Last year I was in Sydney roaming around the city making believing I could build a raft to sail the ocean, this year I was letting the sense of taste and smell wrap around fermented grapes. Know if March 18 didn't happen four years ago I have no idea where I would be. I doubt I would have been in Australia when I was or tasting wines with a good friend. Life has much to do with the people you connect with. Each connection leads us to different places emotionally and physically. So thank you to all the people that have moved me. I hope I have at least moved one person closer happiness.

The extended weekend update: After Charlotte

After a 4 day weekend there has to be a list.

1.Thursday night headed to Buckhead with my girl friend from Appleton who will remain nameless but if you know her, you've probably received several phone calls from her around 2am. Oh yeah we started with $2 martinis.
2. After expending little cash over much gin we wanted to dance and of course the place to do that is JoCats.
3. I didn't know how many dances could be done on the floor of Jo Cats till I saw it in action.
4. It might be a good idea to leave credit cards at home, because once you start trying to pay with your driver's license or are found swiping the ATM machine with one you know it is time to go home. (cough cough)
5. Actually woke up with enough time to get on a plane to Charlotte, a St. Patty's day beer was out of the question
6. Arrived with the most beautiful weather. On the drive to our lovely hostess' house little white flowers blew like snow over the car.
7. Had dinner and drinks at a primo hangout of Nascar drivers. I learned that Charlotte was heavily populated by these race car drivers.
8. Some of the other people that hang out at this spot include bald men that suction cans of red bull to their head, boys with bozo like hair that wear jeans hanging off their rear and person in unknown superhero costume.
9. Saturday was brilliant. We drove through the country to 4 wineries tasting about 40+ wines
10. Childress winery was opened by some famous person associated with racing. My favorite was the wine whose description included "great for drinking on the porch" my least favorite was the wine served with "wild game"
11. Raylen winery had my favorite wine, a Yadkin Gold and my new favorite dessert. Chocolate covered Category 5 (a type of red wine).
12. Westbend winery had a sweet elderly gentlemen serving us more than the usual. I told the employees I grew up in West Bend, WI and they were astonished. They said they have received many phone calls concerning kitchen appliances.
13. RagApple winery was my least favorite or maybe I had already tried too many wines by this point.
14. Saturday night off to dinner at an adult arcade. Put me in front of the skee ball and I was set.
15. Went to a very classy establishment named BAR Charlotte. I forgot to pack my mini skirt and g-string so I didn't fit in.
16. Witnessed various activities which I felt I should have paid for via a porn video or strip club, these included pole dancing, pole dancing with sailors, bar dancing with short skirts, riding the giant swing above the bar, bull riding where butt checks were shaking and too many pink g-strings.
17. For amusement purposes of my group I decided to dance with a Mr. Preppie Blue Shirt. He had this dance move which I named a cross between riding a horse and working on the elliptical at a 45 degree angle. I thought of my Grandma's advice and decided not to go home with the talented boy.
18. After a long restful sleep the girls got our shopping on.
19. Had a relaxing dinner party with there were true southern accents, adorable babies and good food.
20. I can't believe it's Monday and that I've finished my box of chocolate covered wine!

I can't date my drug dealers anymore

My grandma on my mom's side who I love so dearly for her sensibility wrote me a letter with some words of advice to my sister and I.

"I pray that you girls can meet up with someone of interest that can turn your life around and make yous happy. You are going to have to get into things of interest to meet up with guys, but not bars & drinking & drugs. There must be places you can join and I always say church, but you don't believe.

From the letter you can see my sister (Danielle) are very unhappy and all we do is drown ourselves in toxins. So for all you that want us to quit with the needles and join the nunnery it will be a long run but if there is a God at the end of the tunnel it might be worth it. He will be my new man.

p.s. Sorry to hear you losing your purse. I lost a nice new swimming cap"

Boy Scout Services for Sale

Upon consuming half a box of girl scout cookies in less than a day I've decided that boy scouts should offer something to the vast population of the United States. They could go door to door with premaid checklists of activities for the same price as a box of girl scout cookies. So America ( minus boy perverts) we have a young lad ready to do some chores. Here's a list, feel free to add on.

1. Taking out the garbage, sanatizing the cans with scent of choice (boys will be equipped)
2. Cleaning the garage, waxing the car, changing your car's oil
3. Washing the windows, there should be birds trying to fly in soon after (boys will be able to care for bird after contact)
4. Scrubbing the floor, wood floors should smell like the redwood forest, ceramic should be spotless without the elderly falling
5. Organize your dvd, cd, vhs collection. Please remove your porn before scout comes
6. Full clean out of the fridge, do the grocery shopping and make a nice dinner
7. Feeding of your dog Toto, take it for a walk, wash and dry
8. Teaching you how to work all the appliances you don't know how to use, like the cappacino machine that is sitting in a cabinent.
9. Shinning all your shoes and optimizing them for most comfort
10. Doing of taxes with the most refund back

Day Four: No Money or ID

I was going to call this Day Four: Marriage proposal but the no money and no id kinda takes the cake. So come time to leave the bar (after taking shots of dirty girl scouts) I saw goodbye to my new friends and stumble into a cab. Next thing I know it's 8am and I haven't changed clothes. So I do my usual check of things. Laptop check, room key check, purse - hmmmmm...Where is my purse?

How does this work? I have no cash besides the $9 I found in my back pocket, no standard ID and no cellphone. Did I drop it, Did I leave it in the cab, Did someone steal it? Ugh - so many questions. I'm very good about not freaking out so I didn't - It's just things and I guess if worse comes to worse I could get some Mircrosoft guy to marry me and give me an allowance every week.

So I spent the day at the conference - which this day was quiet excellent in terms of speakers. The flash film festival took place at night and was an enjoyment. In the meantime I spent too much time getting faxed copies of my ID and collecting cash from Western Union. It was on my way to Western Union that I got the line "Hey gorgeous will you marry me?"
The sun was setting, it was romantic except that I've never met the guy and he had a voice box from smoking to much. My first marriage proposal I had to turn down. I hope it doesn't bring bad karma.

Yes so after chatting to Lynda of Lynda.com I headed back to the hostel to grab my suitcase and take a stab at getting through airport security. As soon as I walk in the people behind the desk look like they have seen a ghost. Guess what they have. Yes my purse. Second floor women's bathroom had my purse. At least I was a semi-smart drinker and didn't leave it in the cab. Me and my purse frolliced to the airport.

Day Three: Dirty Dirty Girl Scouts

I did spend most of the day hiding from creepy guy #1. On my schedule shopping was in session for the afternoon workshops. I took my new fun friend from Berkely over to Anthropologie. She had never been! I don't know what was more exciting for her, the store or the conference. The rest of the day was workshops, workshops and more workshops. I don't know if the evening was the upswing or downswing. Free booze + Gina hasn't had a drink in awhile = danger. The creepy guy ended up finding me and I just had to shake him off. So me and a couple other locals dragged our bags to Capital Hill. I'd say I was quiet impressive with my beer drinking skills. Then we made our way up street to a place called the garage to play some shuffle board. They have a nasty drink called the greyhound - organce juice and gin. Nasty very nasty. So I thought I was classy with my vodka drinks until I decided shots would be good. More to come......

Day Two: It Rains A LOT!

Day Two: Monday - the first Day of the Conference

I woke up extremely early, 5:30 am (7:30 Midwest time) and checked in over 600 people. checked out a handful.... After my shift I decided that I was too worked up being in the building so I ventured outside. I found my way to the space needle by looking up at the sky and walking toward the large object. It was everything I expected to be and nothing more. Then I decided to go shopping. They have a giant market with lots of little shops and big fish. Instead of buying clothes I found some Moroccan bowls. Not sure yet on how they will get home. Then I decided I should go back to the conference and learn something. Not only did I learn but I was inspired. A nice fellow chatted me up and we planned dinner and drinks. It was good till the end. I had to shove him in a cab right before he tried getting a bit of lip action, literally.

Day One

So Day One started with driving home from Appleton then hopping on a plane to Seattle:
Things Learned

1. Sugar free candy is bad for you. Just ask Katie and the toliet.
2. It's ok not to bring the high heels
3. I learned where Detroit is
4. Guys with children sitting across the aisle aren't always married. He will give away his daugther snow white card with digits on hoping i'll call.
5. the 5 year old daugther is smart. when her dad got up and was out of earshot she turns to me and says "Daddy likes to stink up the bathroom"
6. I'm african american lesbian likable in not the way I want to be liked.
7. Being a geek will bring you closer to people like lydia of lydia.com
8. Australians are just as nice in America. And I asked the aussie what the most interesting part of north america was. It's a tie between trailer parks and dollar bills.
9. I'm tired after getting two hours of sleep but was still able to get my work-out in. Surprisingly the West Bend YMCA is 12 times better.
10. Computer guys are damn attractive and well paid.

Cutting loose

Ah Wednesday is always an interesting time especially if you venture around North Ave. Jeff and I are very good at this. Upon entering the BBC I find one of my many wannabe boyfriends. They wannabe be my boyfriend but I don't want them to be. So I enter with my friend Jon and of course this person is going to think that me and Jon are dating so now I actually have to go over there and make my peace. Then I find out that one of his friends knows my sister and that's all I'm going to say about that.

My friends were in prime form. When some fools announces over the loudspeaker that they are the best foosball players, there is immediate running to the foostable for a competition. My friend's reined supreme.

I met a new friend. The crazy guy that lives on the upstairs on the BBC. Words cannot explain what I saw. This man's living space is the most packed antique shop one has ever seen. Bells and plants are friends. Coats hanging from the ceiling like a dry cleaner shop. He has a magical way of talking. We would be finding out about his mink coat and then we were talking about two Chinese girls spinning. Just out of this world.

I also just love catching up with friends I haven't seen in ages. Upon entering Live I ran into a guy I haven't seen in two years and he was at his going away party. I also now have a temporary plan with an old college friend to buy land in Colorado. He's going to attach a horse stable for me on his airplane hanger (which he is going to build). I thought that was rather nice but then I though the glass of beer was nice as well. Ah it was a classic night.

Jeff, I hear you are a good dancer.

Fun photos!

Here was one of the birthdays - guess I had more fun than I thought

The Weekend Update: It's freezing!

So it was in the negative digits but we still went out (with warmer coats) Here is what I learned.

1. Come to the Cheesecake factory a solid hour before you want to eat.
2. It's ok to order a cheesecake for dinner
3. Eric Bana is a HOT AUSSIE! and the movie Munich was good as well.
4. There is always the windows to crawl out of when the doors to your mini lock you in.
5. I like furniture upholstery
6. Synchronized sit ups are in
7. My friends are morons for tailgating at -11 degrees for a basketball game
8. I can still look good without wearing open toed shoes
9. My St. Louis friend never ceases to amaze me.
10. It is unethical to watch John Corbett a block away from my apartment because it's country and even though he is a hot hot hot actor that doesn't mean he is my springsteen!

Spam Carving Contest

My grandma will love this

While researching Seattle and deciding how to fill my time I came across a calendar of events. Seems that the Tuesday before Lent (Fat Tuesday) Seattle has a spam carving contest. I'm sorry to let my family of spam eatters down but I will not be attending. I think the smell of it will collaspe my 3-months of being a vegetarian.

I haven't heard that one before

short bald guy in late 20's: "Is that a burrito or your purse?"

me: (eye roll to sara thinking this guy is pathetic)

short bald guy getting annoying: " So are you two friends?"

sara: "No we hate each other"

surprised bald guy: (coy) " You date each other? Wow"
- - - - - -- - - - - - - - - -- - -

Not to worry Tony, your pick up line still isn't beaten. " You're pretty and I'm drunk, take me home"

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY EVERYONE

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

The Weekend Update: Birthdays Birthdays Birthdays!

After a weekend of birthday of course there is going to be a list!




1. Got lost in the gettho, kenosha county and the seventies trying to find a house in Racine.
2. Surprised my friend for her 30th birthday!
3. Was a standout student in my saturday upholstery class.
4. Celebrated my friend's 27th birthday on Brady Street.
5. Found out the more alcohol a person drinks ( I won't name any names but if Becca slips out it's not my fault) the more one professes her love, gives hugs and professes her love.
6. Became smart and didn't drown myself in gin, this helped in turning down stupid guys.


7. Had a blast with a new friend. He did everything a boyfriend would do - keep guys away, dance well and present me cheetos after the bar. Too bad he has a girlfriend. >>me on the far left, boy, and sarah doing her thing.
8. Had "dinner" at noon with my grandma and her special friend for her 80th birthday.
9. Decided that the best way to meet a guy is to become a priest, imagine I have the whole congregation to preach to my hopes wishes for their single-well to do-groomed sons, brothers, fathers....
10. If you recognize someone and can't seem to remember how you know the person, always reference Fitzgibbions.

Landhopper

Since I was feeling better I decided to book myself a ticket to Seattle. It was exactly one year ago that I hopped on a plane to Australia without any idea what I was doing. Still now, I don't know anyone and have no itinerary (as of yet). I'll be volunteering at a geek conference where there are about 80% males in attendance. I think I will have a lot of fun and meet some cool designers and programmers. Plus it's Seattle so maybe there is a single guy (with a dog) with enough money to buy my a cabin in the mountains, oh yeah we'd fall in love first. So...if anyone has any pointers or know of any destinations that I must go to, please let me know. You have 2 weeks!

bulimic junkie

I've been trying to give up suguar, especially sugar in my coffee. So for two days I went without sugar. I felt like a junkie coming down. To top it off my stomach decided to hate me and turned bullimic. i guess I will have to forgoe the chocolate cake for breakfast and munch on some ice cubes.

Dirty Photos - Dare to look!

I bought myself a digital camera on ebay this weekend and the very attractive seller dropped it off at my office this morning. I think I might have to buy some new dishes as I'm afraid what lifeforms have invaded these. Isn't this disgusting! Help!

13 hours and high on spray mount

I will be in recovery for my 13 hour day at work. You can either find me at Mo's, in my bed, or the police office for punching a person that should have stayed and helped. I haven't checked the kitchen sink to see if the dishes are done. I don't have enough energy to throw them out the window but that might be a nice activity after tommorrow's beer.

The Weekend Update: Live after Florida

I headed to Florida and as always going with the family is always an adventure.

1. Seeing Dad's exgirlfriend at the airport caused a stir not only for his finace but the ex as well
2. Danielle didn't puke on the plane!!!!
3. Rode in style, as in the OJ get away van
4. Got asked to dance via piece of paper, would you like to dance check yes or no. and that was the only guy my age I met
5. Signed Dad up for Karoke without telling him
6. The bar made me sign up, as pentance for #5, I picked a song I think I could sign but realized I just like to dance to it late at night. So Terry sang I danced and sometimes sang the chorus.
7. Listen to a my family trying to sing all the way home a song they didn't know.
8. Formed a small cult Saturday morning, the 13 bright yellow school bus shirt kind
9. For the first time ever, Grandma asked Grandpa if he was ready to go home!
10. 8 kids and 2 granddaughters drank and listened to Grandpa tell wild stories with the occasional chimming in of Grandm
11. I proved best at cards and took everyone's money
12. Danielle was able to get into a bar and drink and I couldn't ! forgot my id in my shorts
13. Broke down and ate fish, in the wisdom of homer: Grouper sandwich, ooooooo!
14. Today is my last birthday celebration: the chinese new year - year of the dog. I did my cleaning yesterday and after filling barrels with leaves I told grandma, "I filled three" which she interpretted for "I feel free" I suppose either is right
15. Came back to Milwaukee and not surprised found the dishes exactly the same place as they were Friday morning.

Pointers from the week and weekend

How to get a free drink
1. Sit close the the bar
2. Not pay attention to the bartenders playing throw the alchohol
3. Wait till they get crazy and move off court
4. Watch the half drinking beer can spill on your leg
5. Cute bartender apologizes profusely
6. Bartender offers drink(s) or shots in my case

For men to have a one night stand ( Saturday night a guy approached me and went from step 1 to just straight out asking so I gave him some advice)
1. Tell a girl she is attractive
2. Tell her you want to hang out with her in the upcoming week
3. Ask her to dance (if you're at Jo Cats)
4. Tell her how gorgeous she is
5. Ask her for her phone number
6. Tell her you can't believe she doesn't have a boyfriend
7. Convince her that you need in at her place pronto because you can't wait for the week.

How to order a Jimmy Johns Sub (This could backfire if you want mayo or a neighbor comes over and eats the sub)
1. Call Tony and ask him for the Jimmy John's number
or
2. Walk to Jimmy Johns
3. Find a guy who looks like bruce springsteen and happens to be vegetarian
4. Ask him what he ordered
5. Ask him to order for you

Affair with the Monitor

How is it that I can have great relationships over email verses face to face? This has happened with several people (guys more or less) and we have a witty repartee, fun conversations and great shares. When we get face to face I just want to drink myself drunk so I don't have to deal with the person. I would rather continue these relationships behind a computer rather than have any physical presence. Is that wrong?

the Weekend Update

losing my voice can make for an interesting weekend


1. I should have worn a name tag that said, "Hi my name is gina, I lost my voice, I'll have a vodka cranberry please." because I got straight cranberry flavor vodka or voda and coke.
2. People thought I was rude for not making coversation with them
3. Had to have Jeff order my drinks for me
4. Trying to cover my ass running into several guys in the same place can be trickey without a voice
5. The bucks lost because I couldn't scream orders at them
6. Drinking too much to soothe a throat causes mixed signals
7. I can befriend a gay man without my charimsa but by my cute clutch purse and fancy scarf
8. Unable to order a sub at Jimmy Johns because they wouldn't be able to see my hand gestures over the phone
9. Not being able to breathe makes picking up a smoke very hard, which is a good thing
10. Having breakfast with the girls makes the weekend much more peaceful

scrubbing mold

yay! my roomies have scrubbed the mold off their dishes, hurrah - pop the bubbly!
now, about that garbage sitting next to the door........

my voice held captive by the stars

just read my horoscope to find the the stars knew that i would be losing my voice, any conversations i did have were difficult and people smiled and chuckled or thought i was rude for not responding.

Although it's not easy to surprise you, today will prove the exception to that rule. There's at least one major surprise en route in the department of communications. Routine conversations and encounters won't be quite so routine right about now. That goes for any conversation, whether it's in person or via phone, email or snail mail. If you expect it to turn out one way, it could quite possibly end up in an entirely different direction. Ready or not, here it comes!

Losing stuff at the bar, like my voice

I lost my voice! I have no idea when I'm going to get it back but it makes it very trickey to order a drink, talk to a guy or even conduct work! Maybe I can get one of those machines that one puts up to the throat. That would be scary, imagine me calling jeff up wanting to go out (in a bad computer output) H E Y J E F F W H A T A R E U D O I N G T O N I G H T ? Well I hope my voice comes back I have a "thing" tonight.

Halloween in the kitchen

My roommates have not learned to throw things out. Garbage being one, Mold being two and the pumpkins from Halloween are still sitting in the kitchen. One of them was saying she was going to take our Christmas tree down and I just looked at the large orange objects and cried. I don't know how to get them to throw away month old food or take the garbage out. They did really well for one or two weeks but now the containers that they threw out the moldy food is still sitting on the sink. I will not touch it. I lied, I threw some out because no matter how hard one scrubs that shit is disgusting. They have not learned how to do dishes or take out the garbage. I try retaliating by not doing my dishes for a week but then when I want to cook or need a spoon to stir my coffee I end up doing all the dishes. Do you think they will notice if I start selling their stuff on eBay?

24 in 06

Happy new year and happy birthday to me!

A few things already learned
1. Don't fall off your barstool or you will be sent home
2. Replacing beer with vodka is not always a good decision
3. Buying a bed will enhance sleeping
4. Sneaking out to go dancing is always fun
5. Wearing no makeup to the Y will make you 18 again*
6. Recovery after a night a partying is painful
7. Having good friends is a blessing
8. There are fabulous people in the world who will polietly inform you that the guy you are talking to has a v.d.
9. Knowing when to cab it home is a good asset
10. Flowers brighten up not only a room but the heart.

* In order to use the adult locker room at the YMCA one has to be 18. I got aksed this morning if I was 18. I was shook up! How, after my 24th birthday do I look 17? And how was it that when I was 17 and 18 I could walk into a bar and not get carded? When one is under 21 we strive to look older, but when does it happen that we want to look younger - is it starting now? How will I ever find a guy if I look 17?

Dog of the Week

now this is love

2005 Wrap-up

In twelve more hours we will enter 2006.
Funny to think that Australia already celebrated the new year 4 hours ago.

So do I feel like I had an accomplishing year? Seeing has how I never made a resolution last year yes.

Upon my many adventures traveling, hanging out with friends and trying to date again I can enter 2006 a smarter woman. I fell in love, danced my butt off, pretended I was Swedish, lived out a suitcase for 3 months, drank way to much, got a promotion at work, watch my sister grow up, got more work, said goodbye too early to a friend and roommate, lived in the most beautiful place in the world, saw the galaxy, watched my family expand, got my heart broken, established better friendships, learned to be more open and honest, gave up meat, bought my first new car, learned to laugh more, started saving the planet, heightened my obsession with The Boss, learned when a relationship is a disaster that there is nothing that can fix it, learned to forgive and cherish the good moments rather than the bad, threw out a lot of mold and toothbrushes, made some new girl friends, was awakened by Buddhism, kissed a lot of unpotential guys, did a lot of running.

Next year I will acquire a taste for martinis, drink less, drink more tea, not think too hard about guys and relationships, be a better friend, a sister, a daughter and step sibling, figure out where I want to live, indulge in the mountains, detach myself from the computer, make art, make new friends, decrease negativity, be more productive, try to work on my six-pack abs, help someone in need, educate.

live and love life.

cheers,

gina

the blog needs a resolution

hello all, its coming up on new years and we are all making or not making our resolutions. I figured the blog needed a resolution as well. My grandma would like to see less drinking. More posts about late night bar hopping might make me a seat in AA. For example a few suggestions could include my sister's new job. Considering she didn't know how to open a bottle of wine or still has an adult helper cut her meat this could prove a challenging adventure. OR I could elaborate on stalking plans with the chicago bulls. I'll have to ask my chicago friend which one we are stalking first. OR gina's dating experience is always a good laugh. POST POST POST!

the radio is clean

Yes the radio is clean again! I can turn on my stations and listen to my oldies without frosty! How exciting, however I did get a the 30th anniversary bruce springsteen collection so I will have to wear out that cd first. Speaking of Bruce does anyone want to come over and watch my bruce springsteen dvds. (wink)

Cute

I have a present for you!"

from my soon to be step-niece and step-sister in the background (she ain't the mommy - fyi).

Merry Christmas Eve

Hope everyone has a happy holiday and if you could refrain from shopping today that would be excellent as now I need to brave a shopping mall.

Time in a Pickle Jar - Part 2

You will be happy to know that I successfully matched up Boy Friday and Boy Saturday's phone numbers. Crisis Adverted? Never.... Both boys called and messaged me Saturday. Fine - I'm hanging out with my sister anyway so I cannot hang out with either. That is till I come home. Boy Friday and Boy Saturday seem to have a mutual friend that happens to live across the hall. I call up my lovely friends Jeff and Chris to come over and we have a great time but I think after an hour or so of Boy Friday and Saturday wanting "this girl" across the hall to come over I think they final realize that they are talking about the same girl. Why can't I just have fun! Stay tuned for my next move!

Rich People don't care about Christmas, or they could be Jewish

Yesterday I took a little drive along Lake Drive with intentions of seeing spectacular light displays. I was very disappointed. Here these people have emptied out there piggy banks to finance some of the best houses in Milwaukee and they can't even look through there couch cushions to pay there servants to hang up some bloody lights! Maybe it's the cost of heating there mansion that they can't afford to plug in 100ft of lights or a waving Santa. Maybe there servants boycotted Christmas or maybe everyone on Lake drive is just Jewish.

FYI: I'm still alive

Just a little note that I am not the gina johnson that passed away Dec. 12 as posted by the Milwaukee Journal Setinel. If you would still like to send flowers and money you can send them to my milwaukee address. I perfer orchids but since they are out of season, and holiday plants would be fine.

Double time in a Pickle Jar

What happens when you give your phone number out to two guys that both happen to have the same name?

The Weekend Update

If you're going to party this weekend you better do it right

Friday
1. Miller Time - good for an after work celebatory beer
2. the Neighboors Apartment - good for playing trivial pursuit
3. the Stranger's Apartment - good for shots and an unlimited amount of beer
4. Eastsider - good for meeting my friends and strong vodka cranberries
5. Club Havana - good for getting hooked up with the co-worker discount shot, creepy men, and spicey music
6. Flannery's - good for kodak moments
7. the Neighbor's Apartment (post party) - good for pouring white russians all over their kitchen table
8. my Apartment (post party)- good for putting my pick-up line into action, "Wanna come over and watch my Bruce Springsteen dvds"

Saturday
1. the Mirmar theater - good for puppet shows - you know ones with a penis - yes just a penis - actually there were no puppets - just a couple men doing tricks - yes with their penis.
2. the Vucerria - good for $5 martinis and learning that my girl friend thinks cheese ages well, 6 is the new 26, and finalizing plans for stalking some of the Chicago Bulls.
3. the Garage - a good place to watch your friends transform into sober to not sober
4. Jo Cats - a great place to shake your butt and get down and I mean get down.
5. the Walk Home - a good place to holla at boys to come over
6. my Apartment - a good place to keep on drinking
7. the Hallway - a good place to bring the neighbor's party over
8. my Apartment - (see #6) and blast the music before getting yelled at, sing and dance with bankers and watch my friend seduce yet another one

Sunday
1. my Apartment - wake up to someone cleaning my apartment and learning that I was up almost till sunrise
2. Gills - an quiet place to have breakfast with four of my dearest friends

Office Politics

Today I got scorned because I threw away an old box top that was our organizational means of holding legal size paper. I WAS trying to make a better work flow - however clutter and dust fashions well in my office. Now, what color holiday ornaments go well with the nazi symbol above my desk?

One Month

"I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals,
it's because I hate vegetables!"
- Woody Allen

Corona and Sun: Adventures in Mexico

Greetings, I am back from Mexico and I know you are anxious to here about the shit in the sink and other fun stories.

Preface: Wednesday night was the second biggest drinking night of the year, behind New Year's Eve. So my sister now 21 and I back in West Bend went and hit up the bars downtown, her with her friends and me with mine. There were lines to get into the hick-est of bars and snow (snow! - I haven't seen snow before Thanksgiving in ages! ) So I had arranged to pick Danielle up from the bar on my way home. Hmmm no Danielle and the bar is empty - so I arrived home around 2:30 and set the alarm for 4.

Thursday
I woke up to my father and the light on saying I had five minuetes to get into the car. I ran around like a mad woman pushing the rest of my clothes into my bag and jumped into the freezing car. There I finally found Danielle happy as can be. I was glad I wasn't hungover but I still smelled like bar luckily Danielle was in the same boat - except for the hungover part (she was still drunk during the car ride to Chicago and doesn't remember it)

It must be a family trait because on my 21st birthday I went to Vegas and puked on the plane. Needless to say, Danielle not only matched that but twice over. Here she is happy in the sand. I tried getting her drunk but she just wouldn't drink fast enough!



We went to an All-Inclusive resort in Nuevo Vallarta - just north of Puerto Vallarta. That means not only free food, but drinks 24/7 at the various bars and swim up bars. Yes swim up bars.

Top ten drinks:
1. Sangria
2. Strawberry Daiquiri
3. Pina Colada
4. Long Island
5. The Tornado
7. Mai Tai
8. Corona
9. Sex on the Beach
10. Amaretto in coffee

The resort was fabulous and the weather was excellent. It was more American-ized than expected so I was itching to get out into real culture.


Friday
Danielle and I soaked up the sun and proceed from white to burned.

In the afternoon we took a taxi to Old Town in Puerto Vallarta. It was interesting seeing signs in Spanish as well as pickups carry 3 - 10 people. We walked around trying to find senor frogs but ended up going to a bar/club called HILO. A huge statue was portruding out from the building and it radiated red light. We sat on chairs upholstered with cow hydes next to the street where the little mexican would try to get me to buy one of his roses. We assumed the theme of the bar was a heaven/hell mix but upon translation of several waiters we figured it had to do with the history of thread. I'm still scratching my head at that one.

We headed back to the resort giddy and ready to eat at the Spanish/Italian restaurant. Upon receiving our first course it was decided that the waiter didn't know what we ordered and also seeing other people get served ahead of us I decided to head out to the drink bar and fill up on long islands. I have no idea what or why we all were laughing so hard but other table were looking and all we wanted was our food. Finally we got our food and became entralled with the flamming dessert at the other table. We had to have one.

After dinner we headed to the club sans Danielle. They played this 10 minuete long spanish dance song. It's similar to the marcarana where there are dance moves but it is not as repititious. My favorite is when the shirts come off. I told Terry it was her surprise bachellorette party. You will have to wait this pic till Dad figures out his digital camera. (no he did not take the pic - I did : ) So after much drinking and dancing we headed back. I swung by the outside bar and picked up a drink for 40 yard walk home.

So while sipping my drink and talking to Dad we hearded Terry run down the stairs screaming. She said there are turds in the sink! Turds in the sink. Then she filled us on some more information - they also have eyes! Yes turds with eyes are in her sink. Was this a Mexican prank? So we ran up to take a gander. Yup there they were turds with eyes and I wanted to see what would happen if I turned the water on. They moved! I was trying to figure out how these frog/mice/turd things crawled up into the sink. It just wasn't possible! Dad to the rescue removed the now deemed as "bats" outside. Bats Bats Bats were in the sink! Ewww - yes I have a pic of that one too.

Saturday
We headed to Las Calentas - a destination only one could get to by boat. It was fabricated so it looked like a resort but enough so it still had some culture. Bathrooms were in little huts and sinks were bowls. There were beautiful parrots and monkeys. Here Dad made a new friend. I just don't understand why he can bond with our dogs like that?



Here is me chillin in a hammock



Here is Dad and Terri who braved the cool waters to swim to the raft. I was told there were some beautiful fish and sting rays. Terri lost her sunglasses and Dad played Subca Steve - decked out in googles, a snorkel and fins. Really wish we could have captured that but some things are just so funny that you have to sit and laugh and try not to piss yourself.



Everyone in the group went on a nature hike and I wanted to do yoga. Yoga wasn't happening but Mr. John from Dallas was. A young lad approached me. I found out latter that my family was spying on me while high up in the mountain while I was chatting away. He and I took our own nature hike and ended up discovering hundreds of crabs. When we finally decided to turn around we say everyone was boarding the boat to go home. Ah! The mexicans were yelling at us in Spanish to get on the boat. Too bad he was too young for me to want to make an effort to his request to come party with him.

Dinner highlights: the waiter who meow-ed and convincing danielle that mexican steak was kangaroo.

We finally ALL went to the club. Dani and I have a blast dancing. Dad and Terry were even rolling out some moves. Then two guys approached Danielle and I and we danced and danced and danced. It was steamy. We decided to leave because you can be a good dancer and still be a dud. So she went to bed and I stayed up trying to watch this Mexican soap opera - until it turned into porn. Porn on basic cable - those mexicans must be happy!

Sunday

Last day! If you're a vegetarian on an airplane - you're going to go hungry. If you're a woman who has nice hair you're going to get your hairspray taken.

Who Shit in the Sink?

Writings and pictures from Mexico are on their way, but can you guess who shit in the sink?

Tofu and the great beyond

Day 21 without meat

I had my first experience with tofu tonight. Unlike men, I had low expecatations going in. But I think this relationship is going to work.

I think my roommate is using my toothbrush

I had to buy a new toothbrush because mine disappeared. One of my roommates leaves and sleeps at her boyfriend's place, taking her toothbrush with. One day last week I went to brush my teeth and saw two brushes that weren't mine. I went out a bought a new one, it's blue. My old one did return home but I sure wasn't going to use it. I was going to use it for cleaning the cracks in the shower, so I left it till I felt so inclinded to do so. If we do the math their should be a total of 4 toothbrushes. Two are mine and two, one for each of my roommates. So last night after the horrible Packer I went to clean my pretty teeth. How many toothbrushes? TWO! Two toothbrushes and both are mine, where did they go and why is my old one wet??? What's next, sharing underwear?

Just how retarded is retarded?

ALERT: EPA PROPOSES CHEMICAL AND PESTICIDE TESTING ON ORPHANS & MENTALLY HANDICAPPED CHILDREN
Public comments are now being accepted by the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) on its newly proposed federal regulation regarding the testing of chemicals and pesticides on human subjects. Earlier this year, Congress had mandated the EPA create a rule that permanently bans chemical testing on pregnant women and children, but the EPA's newly proposed rule puts industry profits ahead of children's welfare. The rule allows for government and industry scientists to treat children as human guinea pigs in chemical experiments in the following situations:

1. Children who "cannot be reasonably consulted," such as those that are mentally handicapped or orphaned newborns may be tested on. With permission from the institution or guardian in charge of the individual, the child may be exposed to chemicals for the sake of research.
2. Parental consent forms are not necessary for testing on children who have been neglected or abused.
3. Chemical studies on any children outside of the U.S. are acceptable.

taken from: www.organicconsumers.org

Whoever thought of this is retarded or has been reading too many comic books. If you dump pesticide all over your offspring chances are they'll get really pissed at you later in life. Your soul will rot in hell and your child will not be the next spiderman.

Weekend Update

Instead of going to my regular hangouts here's what I did instead.



1. Looked stylish in some bowling shoes at the Landmark
2. Sipped cosmos with some fine gentlemen at Hotel Metro, hey Sara did you call that guy yet?
3. Bounced around in a sea of napkins, sang songs and broke glasses at Lucilles.
4. Figured out it's perfectly normal that an estimated bar hopping travel time in Appleton is between 10-30 minutes.
5. Regulars in Appleton like to buy a round of shots that they thought of themselves. Apple Pucker shouldn't be allowed in bars, only in a 5 mile radius around a University
6. Received wine not from a normal bottle but the little airplane ones, talk about quality
7. Hit the dance floor with the only other single girl in our 30+ group and was able to dance with anyone and everyone
8. Involuntary task of become the relationship therapist for my drunk friends who are in a love triangle
9. Had a good hearty conversation about porn
10. Proved strong and didn't eat the meat slices of our 3 foot by 3 foot pizza.

Day Seven

I"ve been waiting seven days to post this. It seems one week or one month or one year seem to mean something more than 5 days, 5 months, 5 hours, etc...
Well I'm happy to announce a major life decision. That is the choice not to eat meat. Sorry Grandma - no turkey for me for thanksgiving, cow tongue for christmas (gross) or fishes (for now) from up north. I finally got disgusted after waiting for deli meat. I wanted to puke right there but I didn't because I've been eating it for 23 years. Then a week ago I got a book about living lightly on the earth and that just pushed me to give up meat right there ( After I finished my tuna salad sandwich - a girl can have her last meat meal! ). So it's been one week. Today at the Michigan Diner with Jeff was my first experience dining with a meat covered menu. It should be an interesting challenge. I will miss certain food but in the end I feel my soul will be better for not eating something with a brain, what we receive from the land will be some much more fruitful and my body will be in slammin shape. ( As if it isn't already )

Can of Dreams

So I woke up this morning very confused. I had a dream that in the dream I could decide between two things and I picked the thing that was worse. Now why did I did that? Did I do it because I knew it was a dream and I could indulge without hurting anyone? Or did I do it because my subconscious is saying something to me?

Suspicious eyes

When you know someone is doing something they shouldn't, what do you do?

Gone Fishin'

I took the day off work and decided what better to do than go fishing with my friend Brian. We caught some bass, walleye and cropee. I hadn't seriously fished since the days of my snoopy fishing rod but I had heaps of fun. Don't worry we threw all the fish back (alive).