When the leaves start to Fall

Not to long ago I was playing volleyball when I realized that it was beginning to get darker out earlier. It was still bloody hot - but it was dark. I felt like a bird that needed to prepare for migration. There was an aire of immediacy. i knew there was still many days of hot hot weather. Today is very cold.

Some people are thinking about starting school again, others are trying to squeeze in one last vacation and others try very hard not to think about wisconsin winters. I was ontop of my friend Brian's apartment overlooking downtown from the south and thought how much at ease I feel in Milwaukee. I began thinking about how fantastic the colors are in fall and I wondered if I could stay in Milwaukee for one more season. I had one of those weeks were I was surrounded by friends and activities only Milwaukee could provide. I met up with various friends I haven't seen in a while and some I see all the time, went down to water, watch a ball game while grilling out, went to the Landmark, celebrated Miller's 150th by dancing to Bon Joni. All these events made me feel at home. But by the end of the week nothing was at home.

The clouds were out and it was raining. I couldn't wait for the leaves to turn colors but that would mean the trees would shut off circulation. I could, however, wait to see my far away friends because I knew they'd always be there and something was in the works that'd all of us girls would be together. But now one is not with us anymore and it is so unfortunate it had to happen to her and now. It won't stop raining for a lot of us. But we are so happy when the little sparks of sunlight that come down on us and we can smile and laugh again. I saw even more older faces that took me back to my college days and we just shook our heads in disbelief and then we would make each other laugh at some of the stuff we did. It was bittersweet.

My friend Sara and I were driving back home and it seemed we could not get away from this gray cloud and then, close to home, we saw an opening of vast blue sky. It made me think that I needed to keep going till I find the happiest place there is. If that is were there turning leaves are that's where it is, if it is between mountains and salt water that's were it is, if it's in the warm heart of someone, that's were it is. Peace and love to my deepest friends and our one above.