Sunday, October 30, 2005

Hitchhiking



Finally saw Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and loved it. I had no idea what it was about. There's been this guy that's been trying to get me into for years and I thought it was some Star Trek geek thing. I was pleasantly surprised and now and can't decide who I have a bigger crush on Mos Def or Marvin.

In the game of Life



Growing up I was raised on Chinese checkers, connect four, candy land, monopoly and of course dominoes, nothing that would determine your profession, salary or family size. My little cousins got me to play the game of Life.

My first choice was to go to college or chose a career. Everyone else was going to college so I followed. I got to chose 1 or 3 professions (travel agent) and salary (90,000). Then I learned that salaries could be traded as well as careers.

Then I found out I had to get married and put a little blue guy in my passenger seat on my red station wagon. I have no idea who this guy is. Why is my salary supporting both of us riding around the life board. I should be able to pick a card for him and if says doctor I could trade seats and be along for the ride. No, not the case. I can't even kick his ass to the curb if he is a starving artist. What gives?

And now I have I have to have babies with this stranger. Just my luck, I have a boy and a girl. I don't even have time to pick their names but the major up side is no breast feeding. (like I have time to while driving).

Previously I had to pick a home. I'm camping out in a trailer. At least it's cheap because god knows my hubby isn't chipping in. Then I land on buy a cabin. I can't even trade in the crummy trailer or leave my family in the trailer and run. No I continue on. I am the first to finish and I'm already a grandparent by now and my kids still haven't left the car. They must have got the genes from my hubby to sit around and mooch of mom. Where's the education? When do they support me? Well I'm walking into the milliondollar estate and making a martini. I came in second place after my cousin that became the celebrity and her car was empty, no kids. I refused to play a second time. Thank god I never played that while being a kid because I would have some really large expectations to fulfill.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Once upon a time

Once upon a time I found a little creature up in the rafters of my grandparent's patio umbrella. First, I screamed like a little school girl. Then I thought, hmmm, he is rather cute.


I wasn't having good luck with men that week so I took him down and gave him a kiss in hopes of him turning into a prince.


He just stayed their on the stick and finally jumped away. So the moral of the story is never let little girls read or watch Disney inflicted media. It will be a harsh reality when they figure out men are evil bastards, they are fat, lazy and all they want to do is drink beer and have sex. Of course the dumbass isn't going to turn into a prince he has smoked too much pot and dealt with enough crazy girls to even want to give you a chance. I'm signing up to be a Asian bride. Shoot I can't even do that. Rats.

Monday, October 24, 2005

How long is too long?

How long is too long to leave food with mold on in the fridge? Not food, but molding food? I ask because my roommates leave leftovers in the fridge for over a week, and obviously longer since it now has mold specimens on it. Now it takes a bit of time for mold to show itself. I'm curious as to would my roomies eat the food that has been in there between the stages of 5 days to pre-mold. Do they not know that they had Chinese two weeks ago? Are they waiting for a late night craving to finish it off? Just throw the food away! Now there is an abundance of molding leftovers so obviously they don't know who's is who's because there is so much nasty shit in blue and purple tupperware containers. Seriously clean it out man, go to the grocery store, keep it real, keep it healthy. The only green substance allowed in this fridge, vegetables (brocollii, asparugus, green peppers, etc.) mint leaves, lime juice, and green apples. (Mint ice cream goes in the freezer) No green frosty cake, no green beer, no green milk even though one may want it for St. Patty's day. No, it's not natural man. Food colored food is whack and I won't be having any of that. My goal this week is to teach them about mold. Next week is show them the trash dumpster outside our building. Until then keep it clean folks.

Bringing back the list

I did what?

1. Wondered where my money went
2. Told the waitress I spilled my drink because I was doing the robot (note: I was sitting not standing)
3. Woke up wondering why my bed was moved to the other side of the room, thought I was very ambitious, then I realized I wasn't in my Milw. apartment.
4. Played dominoes at a bar (double twelves for those who are curious)
5. Was the bigger person and went to say hello to the girls who spread rumors about me in high school
6. Said helloooo to Kevin Garnett. at the bucks game. 12 rows up. he was making a basket
7. Had a conversation about body hair (see below)
8. Went to a brewery tour and didn't really do the tour part
9. Had to leave the bar because I am freaked out by someone who dresses up as a hot dog
10. Yelled at the tv, punched the couch, kicked the wall and became a mute around 3:15 Sunday. I hate the Vikings.

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Carpet Samples

So I was sitting at the bar drinking my vodka lemonade when the guy sitting next to me randomly explains that he is a carpet from his neck down ....Isn't that yummy?.... Yeah, Can I take you home throw you on the floor and roll around on you? Yeah if you were a carpet, not a wolf man. He even did some show and tell, showing me his arms and explaining that this was the least amount of hair he had. Listen, if I can braid your arm hair chances are, first, I'm drunk and second, I'm going to bust to the nearest pool and screw the first swimmer I see. Yes please do not tell me about your hair problem, it's not a turn on. I don't want to feed you bananas and clean up your shit. Please, men, invest in some razors, wax treatement, tweezers, nose hair trimmers, and heaps of porn.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Danielle




Here is a pic of me and my sister when we went to the kite show, I'm on the left, she's on the right.

The very first memory I have of my sister is stepping on her chest. Why? Because she asked me to, swear on my new pair of shoes. Now, whether I might have plunked in her mind that stepping on her might be a good idea well that is certainly a possiblity. This also means she was old enough to talk, so.... hmm.... yeah I guess she really didn't exist till age 2 or whenever one starts talking. I also convinced her that she was adopted. Fairly recently we couldn't find her birth certificate and I did the "I told you so" there was silence on the other end. No my sister is finally cool. After years her spilling my milk, making me get grounded, ruining my parties, being spolied, etc... she finally grew up and so did I. So boys, be good to her. Love ya sis. Man I'm getting soft.

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Feeling Five


Can't wait to go to work tommorrow. Last week I designed my second favorite print piece, ate playdough, measured the heights of my coworkers (pencil line with name and month)- blew bubbles and rode my bike with a yellow balloon. Its a wonder I'm still there. Eh I love it.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Surviving Luxury

How much money do you think you need to live on for exactly one year?

Sunday, October 09, 2005

The Lazy Dater

Someone who we will call "Brian" said I was a lazy dater.

He referred to it meaning that I date people that by location are close to me, across the street, in a classroom, and upstairs. If we chose our mates that are relatively close in distance does that make us lazy or was it a coincidence? My feelings of a lazy dater immediately refer to a good friend back home who's philosophy for dating girls is "let them come to me while I sit here." So when my friend referred to me as a lazy dater I automatically thought that he meant that I put minimal effort into a relationship and was then offended. So thinking about it - is it too convenient when our location brings us closer to our mates? Does it add or take away any emotions and what kind of emotions?

Thursday, October 06, 2005

the questioning room

In a battle of making decisions where do we make them - from the mind or the the heart?

In a quest to find out more below are my findings. But if say, for example, you had to choose between two different things - one made your heart rush and the other was more in depth, planned, now fail safe because it has been thought about from all sides. ha - I think I just answered my own question....

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"In ancient Egypt and Greece, the heart was the most important organ. Greek philosopher Aristotle (384-322B.C.) noted that an injury to the heart meant immediate death, whereas head injuries usually brought far less serious consequences and could even heal. He observed, too, that one's heartbeat changed with one's emotional state and that the brain seemed to be without sensation, for touching the brain of a living animal evoked no response. The action of the heart, he concluded, seemed to correspond with life itself. The soul-the independent force driving that life--most likely resided in the liver

Unlike Aristotle, Pythagoras (circa 570-496 B.C.) and Hippocrates (circa 460-370 B.C.) both had considered the brain to be the "noblest" part of the body. Plato (427-347B.C.) shared this point of view. He assigned the lower passions such as lust and greed to the liver and the higher ones such as pride, courage, anger and fear to the heart. For reason, it was the brain." -Robert-Benjamin

__________

"head thinking is fractured and separatist, while heart thinking is holistic...Head thinking is fractured. It will look at one aspect of a situation at a time and draw conclusions based on that, while ignoring others. Modern civilization is a perfect example of head thinking, for all its systems are based on separatism." -Suma Varughese

_________

"How many times have you heard people around you say “my heart is saying yes, but my mind is saying no?” That’s basically where this theory originated from. My friends and I are always talking about our problems, just to verbalize how we feel. We find it funny how we all know what the right thing to do is, but somehow, our heart manages to influence our minds and confuse us even more. It’s like my pastor said, The heart is a very deceitful thing.

At the same time, how can you feel that genuine love without it? No matter how much you try to rationalize with your heart, it often wins over the mind; thus, heartbreak occurs in most cases. The brain is usually right - don’t get hurt - it says, but the heart is so stubborn that it always has to find out the hard way. The real battle in life is between the heart and mind." -Masungit.net

Monday, October 03, 2005

Good Karma

If you think is something is too good to be true do you accept it or wait for it to fail?

Saturday, October 01, 2005

Staying for the Sun

It was one of those revitalizing nights out where nothing was planned and the unexpected happenings made it brillant. So I stayed till the sun came up and then some.