Carpet Samples

So I was sitting at the bar drinking my vodka lemonade when the guy sitting next to me randomly explains that he is a carpet from his neck down ....Isn't that yummy?.... Yeah, Can I take you home throw you on the floor and roll around on you? Yeah if you were a carpet, not a wolf man. He even did some show and tell, showing me his arms and explaining that this was the least amount of hair he had. Listen, if I can braid your arm hair chances are, first, I'm drunk and second, I'm going to bust to the nearest pool and screw the first swimmer I see. Yes please do not tell me about your hair problem, it's not a turn on. I don't want to feed you bananas and clean up your shit. Please, men, invest in some razors, wax treatement, tweezers, nose hair trimmers, and heaps of porn.