Yesterday I was thinking more about this gift registering. I asked my sister who's been through the process of why a couple would register for little items that could be easily purchased by the couple. She made a good point in saying that you have to consider your guest's budget, putting items of various values on your list. It made sense.
I guess I'm not your "typical person getting married" as noted in a previous post. This morning while reading the Miss Manners column, she discusses guest etiquette in regards to contributing to the wedded couples favorite charity. How refreshing is it that couples are thinking about giving back as their wedding gift. This is something I also have been thinking about. If I had to have a shower, this is exactly what I would do. Miss manners says (talking in second person) "Yes, Yes, she is aware that a vast number of people presume that their weddings (and graduations and birthdays) are license to order what they want from their relatives and friends."
I begin thinking about Christmas, birthday and even my own graduation, high school and college. Immediately I was ashamed. For my high school graduation I was in Target scanning items I wanted to start my college life. I'm now mortified.
I'm not blaming my Mom for throwing a party I didn't want, because I could have put my foot down. I think I spent most of that party sitting on the peer with my friend Tony. My family and family friends probably thought I was an inconsiderate snot. I did appreciate the gifts and they helped out immensely my first year.
Much has changed since then. Mom's not here and my perspective on life has 180-ed. And I think with time my family's perspective on giving has changed as well, our big family christmas' are now spent purchasing and wrapping presents for a family who needs it. I am extremely grateful to have financial independence and would give it all back just have my mom.
My lesson learned: To not even look at their list. To give them a gift I think will make them happy on their special day.
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Love this, Gina. I too am notorious for going "off list" at weddings. I've even been told it's rude of me but I don't care. Gifts are meant to be thoughtful and special occasions are meant to be remembered with beautiful momentos, not shower curtains and spatulas.
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